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Teen Poetry #7
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Toasty
Member
since 2003-06-09
Posts 74
my little hole in wisconsin

0 posted 2004-01-01 01:05 PM


hello again. I wrote this after learning some things about my family's past- it's a tough subject for me, and it's hard to put into words, but I tried...
Shadows of the past
leaving me with doubt
wanting to move on
yearning to shout

to leave it behind
from whence it came
sometimes I even
hate his name

scarred with something
I didn't see
hating these memories
      
that aren't from me

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness; Nothing so gentle as real strength."  -Francis de Sales.

© Copyright 2004 Patricia Clark - All Rights Reserved
muchos
Member
since 2003-11-29
Posts 102

1 posted 2004-01-01 01:57 PM


i like your post, i dont know what to say, in a few parts you could have used a few more words, like on your first stanze, 'wanting to shout out' i dont if you have the same count or beat in every other line it makes the poem flow really well. but i like this poem a lot, and its good to let those feelings out, keep up the good work!!
*Belabebeautiful*
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Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA
2 posted 2004-01-01 07:49 PM


sigh...family problems I hear you there, the past is something that often comes back to haunt my family no matter how hard we try to run from it. I know it is hard to write about something that meaningful to you but perhaps writing about it will help you, it helps me! All in all I enjoyed the poem, nicely done.
~Live and Laugh~

Because of you I laugh a little harder, smile a little more, and cry a little less
~Bella~

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