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Teen Poetry #7

Silent Crystal

muchos
Member

since 2003-11-29

Posts 102

0 posted 2003-12-03 03:10 PM

My tears drip as crystals
They fall right from my eye
Silent crystals fall and fall
I wish that I would die
My body shows emotion
Through my sad-filled eyes
They drip a hurt full potion
From all the peoples lies
I wish the pain would go away
And that I wouldnt cry
I want to find an easy way
I really want to die
Please show my understanding
To keep me from my pain
My heart needs some mending
To help me with my shame
I wish that I could show you
The hurt I have inside
Even simple love wont do
I'll always try to hide

love a little, live a lot

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

1 posted 2003-12-03 03:24 PM

I liked this, the rhyming seemed forced in some places, but it was still good. I believe everyone has felt this way at least once in their life, and if they haven't, then they're just too friggin' happy. Nice write.

Tell me, how does it feel, to treat me like you do?~Orgy

frolicking dolphin
Member

since 2003-02-23

Posts 268
my own special world

2 posted 2003-12-03 04:52 PM

I agree that the rhyming seemed forced in places but for a first post it was really good. Welcome to pip

~*~Karen~*~

~All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them~Walt Disney

magic_612
Member

since 2003-07-31

Posts 190
NB, Canada

3 posted 2003-12-04 10:02 AM

great job here!

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