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Teen Poetry #7
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buckysimone
Junior Member
since 2003-10-19
Posts 27


0 posted 2003-12-03 11:18 AM



Parking lots
Of Empty hearts
Robotic minds unrest
And through the silhouettes
Silhouettes of uncertain lies
Dead roses and tattered paintings
Waxy fingers and toes
Walking like a babies beginning
Off-centered by salty pasts
Think alike
Through thick and thin
Mechanical minds and childhood dreams
Dreams of industrial futures
Up brings identical beings
Sick and tired
Death and daunting
Halting machines
Completing their stops
A new path, new people
Let's drive
Drive away
This parking lot

© Copyright 2003 buckysimone - All Rights Reserved
young_blood
Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN
1 posted 2003-12-03 05:42 PM


hmmm...for the most part i liked it, you had creative ideas, you lost me in some parts though. it seemed like words were missing or something..good write though
-alex

now im alone, but not lonely like before

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2003-12-03 07:02 PM


I am closing this post as it is a double post, you also have this in dark. You can not post the same poem in two forums, at the same time, unless one is in Critical Analysis.
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