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Teen Poetry #7
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duncan idaho
Member
since 2003-11-14
Posts 70
dune

0 posted 2003-12-01 02:26 PM


Basic Design Principles

High, Lighter
Feel me .com all
myself to bloody optiplex.
Understand, recognize, help,
envy them.
You have me posted to a unifiedshredded
sole of a newly balanced
rotation within service tag GP3B30B.
I abhore youthemwe. I choked on
Your compationate knives.  but I
still see you LITER
when time collapses and nothing is left but the moment
then the moment is plastic wiring...truly
nothing
yes, Nothing is anoying
but deal with it.
Lighter, Higher.

© Copyright 2003 duncan idaho - All Rights Reserved
Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
1 posted 2003-12-02 06:39 PM


"the moment is plastic wiring"
I really enjoy your creative approach.
it makes sense, and makes a point, while being far from cliche.
It is my goal in writing to steer as far away from cliches as possible, although I'm not perfect.
It's good to see some originality.
Does the GP3B30B stand for anything, or is it just random numbers and letters. Just curious...

duncan idaho
Member
since 2003-11-14
Posts 70
dune
2 posted 2003-12-02 08:20 PM


it is the tag number for the computer i'm using in my classroom.
Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
3 posted 2003-12-02 10:51 PM


nice.
rhyme time
Junior Member
since 2003-10-17
Posts 13

4 posted 2003-12-03 10:39 AM


you should actually write a poem and not just words that make no sense
duncan idaho
Member
since 2003-11-14
Posts 70
dune
5 posted 2003-12-03 05:42 PM


i'll do that...........
KoKo
Senior Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 995
Inside the shadow's shadow
6 posted 2003-12-09 03:23 PM


I think you have a lot to say, you're just terrible at saying it.
duncan idaho
Member
since 2003-11-14
Posts 70
dune
7 posted 2003-12-09 07:18 PM


hmmm, maybe i'll just write something that really shows my stupidity!
duncan idaho
Member
since 2003-11-14
Posts 70
dune
8 posted 2003-12-09 07:19 PM


wait....i've already done that...
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