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Passions in Poetry

That Day

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tml_nut
New Member
since 11-23-2003
Posts 4


0 posted 11-29-2003 02:18 AM       View Profile for tml_nut   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for tml_nut

Hey, like i said in my last work i only just joined a week ago. This poem was my first when my first girlfriend broke up with me (went out with her again) and for the record i was (and am) in love with her. Anyway here it is. Hope you like it

It was like any other day
Life was good for him
No problems with friends
His girlfriend was fine
But acting strange

He was being his usual self
Trying to comfort her
But there was something in her eyes
Like she was fighting a raging battle with herself

When lunch came
He asked what was wrong
She asked if he wanted to know now or after school
He told her now

As soon as those words escaped her lips
He was thrown into a dark icy sea
Unable to breathe

She stared at him watching his reaction
Praying that she didn't kill him
But she knew that her words "just friends"
Would burn into his heart

He was in a surreal state
Not believing what had just happened
Five months had just ended with her
He muttered to his friend to follow him
And then the worst hit him

He came out of his comma
Relatity floating back to the surface

It was like a dagger had peirced his chest
Ripping out his heart

He asked his friend to grab another friend
And her expression was like his

Shocked and baffled

She hugged him harder than ever
Trying to take the pain away
But it was too late
He had already been torn to hell

He went through the afternoon
With an expressionless face
Trying to continue on
But it was too much

During the last period he lost it

He was with her best friend
And she witnessed his tears

He tried all he could to stop
But the tears kept coming

After school he saw her
But he had to turn away
The agony was too great

That night he went to bed early
Hopping that it would just end
As if it were all a dream

Wishing that the torture
Would wash away with the tears on his pillow

That day everything changed for him
He had now experienced the pain of love

Then he remembered
The thing that would get him through it all

And at that moment he thanked god for friends

Three months later he was talking to her
And he was given the change he had been praying for

She said she wanted another chance
He agreed and they went out again

But like the past something went wrong
At the dance he was regected
Not once
Not twice
But three times

He was crushed the hell once again
Only to find out that she went with someone else

He somehow found it in his heart to forgive her

They went out for another month
His life was wonderful again
He was living in bliss
It seemed like it would last forever

Little did he know
That that dagger would return
To haunt him
To plung into his chest
One more time

Note: Just reading this over again, i dont know how great it is but hey im self critical.
© Copyright 2003 tml_nut - All Rights Reserved
martina
Member
since 06-19-2003
Posts 59


1 posted 11-29-2003 09:09 AM       View Profile for martina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for martina

Hey i think you did a wonderful job on this i hope to see more of your work.
         Martina
cherrys_rule
Member
since 03-18-2006
Posts 446


2 posted 10-06-2006 01:35 PM       View Profile for cherrys_rule   Email cherrys_rule   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for cherrys_rule

I really like this. I hope to see more of your work in the future. Thanks for sharing.
        
secret_truth_lies
Member
since 11-14-2006
Posts 74


3 posted 12-25-2006 11:55 AM       View Profile for secret_truth_lies   Email secret_truth_lies   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for secret_truth_lies

I think you did a wonderful job on this piece. I really do hope to see more of your work on here. Thanks for sharing. And have a happy Holiday.
surf_painter
Member
since 04-10-2007
Posts 434
Canada


4 posted 04-18-2007 11:15 PM       View Profile for surf_painter   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for surf_painter

nice work i will be looking foward to further poems from you
may i make one suggestion though this is just an opinion of me as a reader but i find it weird to read in the third person to me it just seems not to flow but i may not be as experienced as others in poetry but i still loved it
surf_painter
Member
since 04-10-2007
Posts 434
Canada


5 posted 04-18-2007 11:21 PM       View Profile for surf_painter   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for surf_painter

sorry i am posting again but i didn't know how to add your poem to my library without posting which i didn't know before and i also thought to mention i give my best wishes in your endeavor with this person it seems tough
 
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