i just wrote this im not to sure how good it is

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Teen Poetry #7

i just wrote this im not to sure how good it is

broken627
Member

since 2003-11-26

Posts 66
Eugene Oregon

0 posted 2003-11-28 01:37 AM

Forgive and Forget thats all there is to it right
for some reason my heart wont give up without a fight
your love for me has disappeared out of sight
it breaks my heart to know that i was the reason for all your pain
i didnt know how to react when i found out your actually cared
i just sat there and stared
I know it hurt you
and what goes around comes around
It hurts to see you and know your love for me is no longer there
Ive said some things i really regret and youve said some things id like to forget
Im so upset i dont know what to do
theres no where id want to go
if you werent there
But i know its not the same for you
so ill just go and you wont have to know
this will just end and i wont bother you
ever again

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

1 posted 2003-11-28 09:53 PM

ummm...i didnt like it. the rhyming totally killed it for me...sorry

now im alone, but not lonely like before

PsychoticBunni
Member

since 2003-10-03

Posts 162
Mythical Atlantis

2 posted 2003-11-29 02:12 PM

so much pain there. it reminds me all too well of some jerk i used to go out with. But words can be amended. remember, feelings aren't wrong actions are.

Meg

I give you my number when you sad you call me i make you happy- "Don't Worry Be Happy"

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

3 posted 2003-11-29 10:06 PM

I really liked your poem, especially the first two lines. I think a lot of poeple have gone through something like that, with a friend, a boy/girlfriend, or even family. You have a lot of talent.
~kissa~

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

4 posted 2003-11-29 10:09 PM

I really liked your poem. Especially the first two lines. I think a lot of people could realate to it, with friends, or boy/girlfriends, or even family. You are very talented.
**~kissa~**

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