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Teen Poetry #7
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UnsilencedWords666
Member
since 2003-11-19
Posts 63
Broken Memories & Falling Tears

0 posted 2003-11-24 10:21 PM


Since we broke up,
I am destroyed by all this pain.
I can’t handle this {edit} ,
I’m going {edit}insane.
I hate the fact that,
I said my good-bye.
I hate the fact,
I gave-up a great guy.
I know I don’t deserve you,
None the less, I never will.
But I am a druggie,
And you are my pill.
I know I said some things,
Some were good others were bad.
Some made you smile,
Others made you mad.
But truthfully all the good things I said,
Were from the bottom of my heart,
Those are the ones,
I meant from the start.
I really do care about you,
All those things I told you weren't lies.
It’s just I was unsure of how to act,
So I covered my feelings up with a disguise.
Deep down I was scared,
So I pushed you away,
A mistake I regret,
Especially on days like today.
Deep down I hurt,
Deep down I want to die.
Deep down I know you hate me,
And that’s what hurts and makes me cry.
I thought I could handle the hurt,
I thought I could handle the pain.
It’s just it is so different this time,
I’m unable to win the game.
I wasn’t sure of how to act,
And what to do.
Despite all this-the part that kills me the most,
Is the fact that I lost you.


Living a normal life is not living a life...it's living for everyone else *~*Nessa Bear*~*

[This message has been edited by SEA (11-25-2003 11:35 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 UnsilencedWords666 - All Rights Reserved
dertah
Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584

1 posted 2003-11-24 11:27 PM


losing....the one.....you love....

whats wrong with our generation?  redundant in every way, yet tragic every time.

PrincessNets
Member
since 2002-10-30
Posts 103
NewYork, USA
2 posted 2003-11-25 10:02 AM


This was good!  we all make mistakes... and it sucks when you realize that the person you've been pushing away is the one that will kill you inside when they are lost. I'm sorry.

-Jeanette-

young_blood
Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN
3 posted 2003-11-25 10:13 AM


it was alright, i didnt like the curse words. cursing seems out of place in poetry. why some up a feeling in one word? describe more. anyway, it was still pretty good.
-alex

UnsilencedWords666
Member
since 2003-11-19
Posts 63
Broken Memories & Falling Tears
4 posted 2003-11-25 05:40 PM


I am sorry if I had offended anyone with my wording of things such as language content! But thank you for your responses...it is much appreciated :o)

Living a normal life is not living a life...it's living for everyone else *~*Nessa Bear*~*

Olive_8
Junior Member
since 2003-09-20
Posts 41
Canada
5 posted 2003-11-25 10:34 PM


I am not too sure how i felt about this, i think it woulda sounded a lot better if it would of flowed better, that is what i think n e ways.

You shouldn't kiss me like this unless you mean it like that, cuz I'll just close my eyes and I won't know where I'm at

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
6 posted 2003-11-25 11:38 PM


Hi, I just wanted to let you know that curse words, or astricks in the place of curse words, are not allowed. It is past the 24 hour period you have to edit the post yourself, so I took care of it for you.
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