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Teen Poetry #7
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Toasty
Member
since 2003-06-09
Posts 74
my little hole in wisconsin

0 posted 2003-11-18 09:50 PM


it's been a while since I've been on here, or for that matter, written something. Hope this isn't too terrible.....


When I look at the stars
I see your face
the sparkle in your eyes
the warmth of your embrace

I miss you so much
I just want to cry
this ache inside
will make me die

do you miss me
are you there
watching the stars
in the warm night air

wish you were here
in my embrace
laughing with me
wanting to chase

you through the meadow
and down past the stream
living in reality
but wanting my dream

to live with you forever
and always by my side
to never be parted
‘till the stars hide

behind the far hills
washed away with the tide
ride clouds before the sun

I need you by my side.

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness; Nothing so gentle as real strength."  -Francis de Sales.

© Copyright 2003 Patricia Clark - All Rights Reserved
magic_612
Member
since 2003-07-31
Posts 190
NB, Canada
1 posted 2003-11-18 10:32 PM


very good job.. thanks for sharing
skyshine
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars
2 posted 2003-11-18 10:53 PM


This is very sweet!

~Elizabeth

Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone...
~Jewel

frolicking dolphin
Member
since 2003-02-23
Posts 268
my own special world
3 posted 2003-11-21 04:11 PM


I liked this one, I kinda feel that way about someone now, and the poem showed your feelings well.

~*~Karen~*~

~All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them~Walt Disney

SwimminPoet05
New Member
since 2003-11-14
Posts 6
Massachusetts, US
4 posted 2003-11-21 06:01 PM


I really liked this poem.. its really cute.. graet job
dertah
Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584

5 posted 2003-11-22 09:26 PM


hmmmm, so why isnt that person here????
greco
Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 85
buffalo ny
6 posted 2003-11-22 11:39 PM


nice poem i guess i like the poems that go very smoothly i like o read them but not really write them
very good write

broken627
Member
since 2003-11-26
Posts 66
Eugene Oregon
7 posted 2003-12-24 09:58 PM


oh my gosh i loved this.this could be one of my favorite poems ever!
id love to hear more of your stuff!
-*-broken627-*-
-*-love is like a puzzle when the pieces dont fit you have to move on-*-

WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
8 posted 2003-12-25 12:11 PM


I really like this one alot! I can relate to it. This one's going in my library.
Thank you for sharing.

W.W.
We were meant to live for so much more have we lost ourselves?
Maybe redemption has stories to tell maybe forgiveness is right where you fell.

*Belabebeautiful*
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA
9 posted 2003-12-27 03:30 PM


very sweet and good emotion. Flows nicely throughout the entire poem. The only thing I could see to critique is the two stanza that flow one right into another I think you should put them together because in creating a new stanza right there your breaking the thought. But that would kind of mess up poem structure so its just a thought. Overall well done.
~Live and Laugh~

Because of you I laugh a little harder, smile a little more, and cry a little less
~Bella~

DaNi:H
Junior Member
since 2003-12-27
Posts 21
South Carolina, USA
10 posted 2003-12-27 09:57 PM


i liked it.. it reminded me of someone so it made me smile.  i like the way it flowed...  good job
Snickers123
Member
since 2004-05-07
Posts 94
United States-Iowa
11 posted 2004-05-18 06:55 PM


I loved it, keep writing! !!

~*.:Leah:.*~

Stepharoo
Member
since 2004-05-04
Posts 149
Washington, USA
12 posted 2004-05-18 07:56 PM


I really like it. I feel that way about some one right now.
Great Job!

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
13 posted 2004-05-19 06:55 PM


awww.....

i loved this poem sooo much!!!

~Alli~

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