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Teen Poetry #7
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smiley
New Member
since 2003-11-13
Posts 9


0 posted 2003-11-13 10:37 PM


k i think this one isnt that great either, but i wanted to see what other people thought and what advice i can get from you.

This morning I awoke, refreshed and ready to start my day.
I walked outside and heared the loud roar of the ocean beyond the sands so white.
A gentle sea breeze hits my face and I look out onto the waves capped white with foam.
When I look out at the waves curling and uncurling upon the rough sandy shore, I think of the animal life peacefully swimming below.
Dolphins, sharks, octopus and more.
Fish of ornage and blue galore!
I take one last deep breath of the salty air, before I say goodbye and head home, where I will await another meeting with the ocean shore.


i dont really like the ending either.

© Copyright 2003 smiley - All Rights Reserved
dertah
Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584

1 posted 2003-11-14 11:19 AM


like a fellow once said aint love a kick in the head.  (this has been a misdirected thought by hatred)
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