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Teen Poetry #7
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frolicking dolphin
Member
since 2003-02-23
Posts 268
my own special world

0 posted 2003-11-09 06:35 PM


Have you ever fallen in love
Then wanted to die?

Have you ever watched a movie
Then wanted to cry?

Have you ever had a friend
Then wanted to lie?

Have you ever been hurt so badly
Then wanted to try?

Have you ever noticed life's lessons
Then wondered why?

Kinda short, but I like how it came out, tell me what you think I can do to improve it cuz I don't think it's really good yet.

~*~Karen~*~

~All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them~Walt Disney

© Copyright 2003 Karen Clark - All Rights Reserved
misao
Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 50

1 posted 2003-11-09 06:50 PM


hmmm. Love the rhymes and different emotions.
Try and put more feeling into it. Like love, sorrow etc... I know you can do anything if you wanted to. ^_^


dertah
Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584

2 posted 2003-11-09 09:12 PM


hmmmm, i...dont.....know.....
skyshine
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars
3 posted 2003-11-09 09:47 PM


I can't think of any suggestions right now, but you're off to a good start!

~Elizabeth

Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone...
~Jewel

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