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Teen Poetry #7
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infinite disaster
Member
since 2003-06-01
Posts 69
Illinois

0 posted 2003-11-07 10:58 AM


I haven't been posting my poems for a while ... and none of my older poems are on here anymore so here are some of them ...

Wandering into a room
She opens her mouth
Nothing but useless words escapes
That secretly covers the pain she feels
She walk farther down
She sees a perfect vase
So still, so perfect
She reaches for it
Knowing something about the truth
That ended up to be nothing but lies

No longer perfect
The vase is now a shattered picec
A jagged edge cuts her hand
The red liquid drips down her arm
Quietly crying but bearing the pain
She smears the snow-white walls
With her crimson-stained hands
Wanting forgiveness
All she can do is wait


I am proof that the heart is a risky fuel to burn.

© Copyright 2003 Akie - All Rights Reserved
peachesNcream
Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears
1 posted 2003-11-07 11:56 AM


I liked the beginning of this poem but the ending wasn't as great. At least, to me. I'm not trying to be rude or anything...but I feel like ya could work on that a little more. Over all I think ya did a good job! Great work though!! ~Jess

"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go." -Herman Hesse

dertah
Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584

2 posted 2003-11-07 04:00 PM


all i can do is wait....

im not that patient....

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