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Teen Poetry #7
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Can I feel love
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Can I feel love |
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lilibeelee Member
since 2001-07-12
Posts 143 |
I hesitate to fall in love I hesitate to take a chance I chance this next step I take I chance yet another heart break A shadow casts over my soul A darkness comes that I cant controll Doubts fill my mind Pain haunts my heart Tempted to love, tempted to start Should I take this chance and fall in love Or should I expect another disapointment I hesitate to feel something real I hesitate to even feel I chance this journey to what they call love I chance a broken promise I am ready to be with someone But am not willing to feel pain Is this something different Or is it just all the same My heart turns to yours My heart is in your hands Im not sure what will happen Im not sure of the plan Although I cant see the future I can predict how I'll feel There are no gaurentees Theres nothing that I'm sure of All exept for one thing, Im ready to feel love This chance that I take This chance that I make Is all in the name of being in love So my journey begins So will it soon end? My strength repairs itself And gets ready for love |
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| © Copyright 2003 Lisa - All Rights Reserved | |||
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mindy Junior Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 34VA, US |
Excellent poem! I've felt like this one time before myslef, right after my first love. Isn't amazing how writing can help? Although it may not fix all the wounds...telling youself that you're strong can always help! Again...great job! [This message has been edited by mindy (11-05-2003 12:18 PM).] |
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dertah Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584 |
good one good one good one good one |
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xtel Junior Member
since 2003-11-02
Posts 16 |
Good poem... I really like the last part of it because i am feeling exactly like that at this moment. xte| |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
Excellent poem, I love it. I can relate to it soo well right now. Thank you for sharing, well done. W.W. |
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peachesNcream Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513Ocean Of Tears |
GREAT POEM! I think everyone can relate in one aspect or another. I felt this one the whole way through. Good job! ~Jess  "Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go." -Herman Hesse |
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FireInYourEyes New Member
since 2002-12-20
Posts 9 |
The concept of this was good, a bit cliche, and I was feeling it at the beginning. However, once you started to switch around the form and rhyme so much, it got confusing and the rhythm was lost. Although I can definately relate to this idea and generally you did a good job portraying the emotions, try to work on creating a more powerful rhythm that doesn't take away from the effect of the piece. Good job though and I must say that I absolutely understand where you're coming from ~-I feel right at home in this stunning monochrome, alone in my way-~ |
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skyshine 
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058Beneath the northern stars |
Hey, well expressed! Best of luck to you!  ~Elizabeth Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone... |
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