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Teen Poetry #7
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xtel
Junior Member
since 2003-11-02
Posts 16


0 posted 2003-11-03 07:47 AM


I wrote this poem when my actual boyfriend told me that he loves me and asked me out.
In fact, it’s now 3 weeks that we are together and I’m still wondering if he really loves me…
if he loves me for who I am inside... not just because he thinks that i'm a pretty girl.
~~~~~~~~~~


Tell me,
How will I know that you are sincere?
That you won’t break my heart like all the other boys?
Little by little I have built a wall around me.
And until I met you I can say that the wall worked out fine.
But then, you came.
This wall, which took so long to built;
You destroyed it only by talking to me.
Now that I have start falling,
Tell me,
Will you catch my fall?

xte|

© Copyright 2003 xte| - All Rights Reserved
dertah
Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584

1 posted 2003-11-03 09:08 AM


good onnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeee
wvplayernotreally
Member
since 2002-11-06
Posts 215
yakima wa
2 posted 2003-11-03 07:10 PM


I really like this one alot, boys are so frustrating sometimes.

" I think I got a tan from the light in which i was basking."

young_blood
Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN
3 posted 2003-11-03 07:58 PM


hmm...it was alright, there were some grammar errors and such, the imagery wasnt incredible either. if you are going to write in free verse, add some killer imagery, make it stand apart. this is definately not bad for first poems though, keep writing and posting, id like to see more!!
-alex

now im alone, but not lonely like before

frolicking dolphin
Member
since 2003-02-23
Posts 268
my own special world
4 posted 2003-11-03 08:29 PM


I really liked this one, I agree with some of young_blood's comments but this is a good start

~*~Karen~*~

~All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them~Walt Disney

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