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Teen Poetry #7

Swallow

Match
Member

since 2002-07-01

Posts 286
Canada Edmonton

0 posted 2003-11-02 07:22 PM

This bitter pill
I swallow hard.
Misery becomes colorless,
Translucent skies ahead.
The Blush around me,
Swallows hard.
The illusion ignites,
I feel the burn.
My scars are swollen,
They all swallow hard.

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you
I'll tell you that
But if I didn't say it
Well, I'd still have felt it
Where's the sense in tha

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

1 posted 2003-11-02 07:38 PM

........

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

2 posted 2003-11-02 08:15 PM

This was kinda weird...but I liked it...I liked the ending especially. Good write.

"Cut my life into pieces, this is my last resort."~PaPaRoach

Match
Member

since 2002-07-01

Posts 286
Canada Edmonton

3 posted 2003-11-02 10:55 PM

yeah, I don't know whats up with me lately my writing isnt making as much sense nowadays. thanks anyways,
-ash

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you
I'll tell you that
But if I didn't say it
Well, I'd still have felt it
Where's the sense in tha

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

4 posted 2003-11-04 07:10 PM

you know what, when your poetry starts getting weird and not making sense is usually when your improving as a poet. I must say this was an amazing piece. There's so much room for speculation, but it's also quite clear at parts. nicely done.
~Lex

mindy
Junior Member

since 2002-12-18

Posts 34
VA, US

5 posted 2003-11-05 12:22 PM

I enjoy your style of writing, it leaves so much room for imagination and accepting the true meaning.

snoduck
Member

since 2002-11-15

Posts 99
Selah, WA

6 posted 2003-11-05 06:29 PM

In my personal opinion... not all poetry is supposed to make sense. I agree that it allows your imagination to fill in the blanks. I really like it. Thanks for posting!!

-Erica-

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