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Teen Poetry #7
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Baby D
Junior Member
since 2003-10-26
Posts 14


0 posted 2003-10-26 07:18 AM


Screaming Help

If all was well,
and all was fine,
in a perfect world,
you'd still be mine,
i'm feeling lost,
broken indside,
with a smile on my face,
screaming help with my eyes,
why can't you see,
that it could of worked out,
you said you loved me,
three words i'd never doubt,
but you listened to them,
and threw it away,
saying maybe we'll be togther,
maybe someday,
i know it hurts you,
your broken inside,
with a smile on your face,
screaming help with your eyes.



© Copyright 2003 Baby D - All Rights Reserved
garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
1 posted 2003-10-26 08:39 AM


Hello Baby D, and welcome to Passions.
I hope that you like it here. This is a
very emotional first post. Even though it
is sad, I enjoyed reading it. Please check your
e-mail for a special greeting from all of us
here at Passions In Poetry.  
Ethel/garysgirl
Moderator/Passions In Poetry

BrokenDreams
Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425
In The Clouds
2 posted 2003-10-26 01:17 PM


Welcome to Passions! This was really good. I look forward to reading more from you.
Jen

"Worry is like a rocking chair--it gives you something to do but
it doesn't get you anywhere." -- Dorothy Galyean

whispering wind
Junior Member
since 2003-08-18
Posts 45

3 posted 2003-10-26 02:16 PM


This is a really good poem although it is sad.
dertah
Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584

4 posted 2003-10-26 11:56 PM


screaming help with your eyes.....great line.
peachesNcream
Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears
5 posted 2003-10-27 11:21 AM


This was a good choice for your first post! Your feelings were well expressed, I felt this the whole way through. Good job! ~Jess

"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go." -Herman Hesse

[This message has been edited by peachesNcream (10-27-2003 11:22 AM).]

Silent Evincar
Member
since 2003-07-22
Posts 179
Here There and Places Between
6 posted 2003-10-28 10:07 AM


Screaming help with your eyes... I know what this means. Our eyes are the gateway to our souls when nothing else can see us. How odd that those three little words can lead to this. Right on, I like it.

    NJS

infinite disaster
Member
since 2003-06-01
Posts 69
Illinois
7 posted 2003-10-28 12:39 PM


Welcome to pip ... I really liked your poem, it's something most of us can relate to. I hope to see more of your poems soon.

Much love, Akie

I am proof that the heart is a risky fuel to burn.

my_lost_soul
New Member
since 2003-10-28
Posts 6

8 posted 2003-10-28 02:16 PM


Welcome to passions..I'm new to...nweiz great poem..I really liked the line screaming help with my eyes..I felt this one good..nweiz I looking forward to the next one.

death always finds my door..

LiL-Jew
Junior Member
since 2003-10-28
Posts 30

9 posted 2003-10-28 06:01 PM


I love the last line. really makes me think. hmmm...screaming help with my eyes, i would never think of anything like that. its really thought provoking.
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