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Teen Poetry #7

dying

peter pan
New Member

since 2002-08-15

Posts 8
never never land

0 posted 2003-10-23 05:15 PM

the shadows of the night have come to take him
but the bright light will fight for him
the darkness will not win
the brightness shall conquer

his heart shall show the truth
GOD's love shall save him from death
but if he dies ,the darkness will flee
and the brightness will overcome

I AM CANADIAN!! eh?

peter pan
New Member

since 2002-08-15

Posts 8
never never land

1 posted 2003-10-23 05:16 PM

hi all i need some advie should i jsut leave it like this or should i add more to it?

I AM CANADIAN!! eh?

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

2 posted 2003-10-23 10:03 PM

good onnnnnneeeeeeeeee

-=Kiff=-
Junior Member

since 2003-10-21

Posts 16
North wales UK

3 posted 2003-10-24 01:33 AM

I don't really know enough to comment as to whether you should add more to your poem, but if I was to write something on those lines I would defiantly be more descriptive. but that’s just my style.

I'm sure if it is everything you feel then it is everything it needs to be.

The sun never sets on the British empire

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