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Teen Poetry #7
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Hallucination
Member
since 2001-03-18
Posts 419


0 posted 2003-10-16 12:46 PM


"Life Ain't Always Easy"


The clock weren't set so I woke up too late,
And I think the breakfast I had was past its date.
No water, no shower, no water, no coffee.
And when I had to go I couldn't find my key.

Life ain't always easy,
No, sometimes it can be,
As tough as eating soop with a fork.
Life's no dance on roses,
It's Gods diagnoses.
That I'll never really be assured.
You see,
Life ain't always easy.

I should have listened to, ma's good word of advice;
"What ever you do don't mix your reds with your whites"
Next time I do laundry I'll take my time to think,
Before all of my clothes end up flamingo pink.

Chorus

© Copyright 2003 Brian Eggertsen - All Rights Reserved
peachesNcream
Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears
1 posted 2003-10-17 07:55 AM


"Life's no dance on roses..."

That there was really good and made me think! Good write. ~Jess

"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go." -Herman Hesse

swow finix
Junior Member
since 2003-10-17
Posts 14
here but nowhere now
2 posted 2003-10-17 08:00 AM


hallucination,

first of all hello. now for the critique of your poem. i liked it's way of writing. it tells the truth about our lives but also adds in a little humor. that's good. as for the fact that it reads like a song, i am guilty of the same curse. do not fret! i liked it though and encourage you to keep on writing, i am also searching the site for more of your works.
~
swow finix

~be who you want-believe what you want~
         ~love who you want~

frolicking dolphin
Member
since 2003-02-23
Posts 268
my own special world
3 posted 2003-10-17 08:51 AM


I really liked this one, it was so true with just about everyone's life

~*~Karen~*~

~Dream like you'll live forever,live like you'll die tomorrow~

magic_612
Member
since 2003-07-31
Posts 190
NB, Canada
4 posted 2003-10-17 09:25 AM


very good, added some humor to our everyday things. I love your style. Hope to hear more from you
dertah
Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584

5 posted 2003-10-17 02:17 PM


lightly put on how life isnt always easy.  good write.
Silent Evincar
Member
since 2003-07-22
Posts 179
Here There and Places Between
6 posted 2003-10-18 09:55 AM


You know, in high school we had to eat everything with sporks. I enjoyed the bit of humor at the end, I have lost a few shirts to that concept. Right on.


         NJS

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
7 posted 2003-10-18 03:06 PM


I really liked this...especially
the ending. LOL
Hugs  
Ethel

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