Everyone Has Their Breaking Point

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SilentTears
Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 371
Lost and Broken

0 posted 2003-10-15 06:53 AM

Beneath all the forced smilse and all of the tears,
Behind all of the anguish and all of the fear,
Lies a girl so afraid to open her heart,
She wants to begin, but doesn't know where to start.

Left so scarred and broken from things in the past,
But no one knew, for her pain was masked,
They only knew of a pretty smile upon a shy face,
Not knowing all she wanted was to run from this place.

An incredibly grievous loss of her mind,
Slowly the clock starts to unwind,
It's driven her mad, she's going over the edge,
Every moment that passes, she moves closer to the ledge.

Not today, nor tomorrow, or the day after that,
Will she regain composure, her lifeline is flat,
And one day she will break, she will lost all control,
But you'll never feel guilty for stealing her soul.

*I figured out that trust was just my one mistake...*

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

1 posted 2003-10-15 11:44 AM

GREAT WORK, HOMIE! The last line made this poem awesome! Great work! ~Jess

"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go." -Herman Hesse

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

2 posted 2003-10-15 12:11 PM

ha ha dude, good write. (said in a neo matrix voice)

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

3 posted 2003-10-15 04:23 PM

i really liked this write, it was well thought out and written. great job!!

Quiet Acquiescence
Member

since 2003-02-16

Posts 70
somewhere out here

4 posted 2003-10-15 05:20 PM

Ah, deep, real deep. I really liked this one. As I read it I was reminded of a friend of mine. Definitely nice work.

Silent Evincar
Member

since 2003-07-22

Posts 179
Here There and Places Between

5 posted 2003-10-15 06:16 PM

Small spelling tweaks but other than that this poem is very familiar in the whole high school sense. That girl walking down the halls that just seems detached from everything and you don't know why; or worse, don't care. Very nice.

NJS

frolicking dolphin
Member

since 2003-02-23

Posts 268
my own special world

6 posted 2003-10-17 08:59 AM

I really liked this one it really touched me cuz thats about how I'm feeling now

~*~Karen~*~

~Dream like you'll live forever,live like you'll die tomorrow~

rhyme time
Junior Member

since 2003-10-17

Posts 13

7 posted 2003-10-17 02:34 PM

wow

i can find no criticism

i think we have all felt like this some time in our teen years

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