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layla
Member

since 2000-11-19

Posts 74

0 posted 2003-10-14 02:24 PM

Hes been attached to me
seems for a while
and when we cross paths
he waits for my smile
he tells me he wants to shower me with gold
to be my breeze in the summer
and my warmth in the cold
But, I dont want him
He writes poetry
compares me to the sunrise
What a poet he
says he lives for the glow in my eyes
But still, I dont want him
One night he entered my room in his dreams
caressed my hair till I fell asleep
He said he didnt want to wake out of fear
from his eyes his dream would fly
and things would be clear
that I dont want him
When he finally lost all hope
he searched for another
When I found this out
he no longer was like my brother
I ran after him barefoot
mascara running down my cheeks
And when I reached him
I fell to my knees
And said, "I want you! Take me!
let us watch the sun rise
let me live everyday
just for the glow in your eyes
I want you!!
From all his frustrations
he began to tear
with his hands he said go!!
I dont want you here
He cried, "Oh God How!!??
How can this be true
When you finally want me
and I do not want you

*this poem was inspired by an arabic song

swinging2bbvd
Junior Member

since 2003-10-02

Posts 14

1 posted 2003-10-14 03:40 PM

its a beautiful, simple, painful poem. im a man hit with the same set of circomstances.

Silent Evincar
Member

since 2003-07-22

Posts 179
Here There and Places Between

2 posted 2003-10-14 06:41 PM

Do you know how aggravating this concept is?? How is anyone supposed to take this in a postive note(the idea not the poem.) I Love how it was done, chronologicaly following each event or action with a the same reaction. The end is classic in a sad sense and it is very moving, nice piece.

NJS

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

3 posted 2003-10-15 12:00 PM

you....you have captured my lifes biggest woe in this single poem. you see, people jugde poems on how they relate to their own lives. and if i am to judge peoms relating to my life, then this is the greatest poem i've ever read. great write.

magic_612
Member

since 2003-07-31

Posts 190
NB, Canada

4 posted 2003-10-15 03:19 PM

this was absolutely amazing, I have gone through the same thing you have described, so that really made me get caught up in the story. I also liked the order in which you used. Great job!

Quiet Acquiescence
Member

since 2003-02-16

Posts 70
somewhere out here

5 posted 2003-10-15 05:47 PM

Whoa...whoa! Oh my goodness whoa! That was amazing! I love it.

Quiet Acquiescence
Member

since 2003-02-16

Posts 70
somewhere out here

6 posted 2003-10-15 05:56 PM

Wow, reading it the second time still has the same affect as reading it the first. It's still great!

~*~Hope restores broken wings; faith helps us fly.~*~

frolicking dolphin
Member

since 2003-02-23

Posts 268
my own special world

7 posted 2003-10-17 09:07 AM

Like everyone else I think this was absolutely amazing, simple but still has a very strong message. Nice Work

~*~Karen~*~

~Dream like you'll live forever,live like you'll die tomorrow~

rhyme time
Junior Member

since 2003-10-17

Posts 13

8 posted 2003-10-17 02:30 PM

this is a sweet poem, i was waiting to read one like this

thank you layla

layla
Member

since 2000-11-19

Posts 74

9 posted 2003-10-17 10:45 PM

you all have inspired me with your replies...thank you kindly, I apreciate them.

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