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Teen Poetry #7
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freudian_slip
New Member
since 2003-06-20
Posts 7
collective soul of humanity

0 posted 2003-10-03 10:56 PM


It starts slowly
that's how it always is
a guitar riff
sweet, desperate, alluring
lingering perfume and rain
in that moment before the world ends
then broken and breaking
poignant genius of cerulean depths
whispering
"Make me disappear more"
as if maybe that could help

[This message has been edited by freudian_slip (10-03-2003 10:59 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 freudian_slip - All Rights Reserved
dertah
Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584

1 posted 2003-10-04 01:19 AM


captivating.  good onnnnnneeeeeeeeee.
*Belabebeautiful*
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA
2 posted 2003-10-04 12:47 PM


wow...I am blown away by this piece...the imagery is just amazingly, beautifully clear and as dertah said, it's very captivating. I'm awe struck...oh yes I loved the word choice as well!
~Live and Laugh~

The problem with resisting temptation is you never know if you'll get the chance again
~Bella~

shara
Member
since 2002-05-21
Posts 69
florida/USA
3 posted 2003-10-04 01:25 PM


i really enjoyed your choice of words...best poem i have read all morning ...keep em' comin'.  
~sha-sha

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