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Teen Poetry #7
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Deep_Inside
Member
since 2002-02-14
Posts 377
i can't stop hiding

0 posted 2003-10-02 10:35 PM



I don't feel like talking
I’m having a bad day

the day has just begun
how can you be so quick to say?

you where there
you know what went on

ya I told you what happened
that’s why you should have never gone

you’re always right and full of it
are you to blind to see?

but haven't you felt better
every time you talked to me

ya but you send me in circles
I don't know witch way to go

you fell better in the end
that’s all you have to know

I wish you would go away
stop playing with my mind

DON'T YOU SEE, I want to leave
you’re not even like my kind
but you don't see where one in the same
and you’re playing with my mind

leave me alone
you've brought nothing but trouble to me

and if I could leave
it would be too happily

when you live you begin to die
when you die memories of you life lives in others
when memories of you begin to fade
you truly begin to die

© Copyright 2003 Matt - All Rights Reserved
Silent Evincar
Member
since 2003-07-22
Posts 179
Here There and Places Between
1 posted 2003-10-02 10:40 PM


Okay other than a few grammer slip ups that we all have; I have no beef with this piece. It's raking the surface of something and it feels like a tip of an iceberg. Amp this up a little bit and see how it turns out.

       NJS

shara
Member
since 2002-05-21
Posts 69
florida/USA
2 posted 2003-10-03 09:18 AM


i am going to have to agree with silent evincar with this one, keep writing though. thanx for sharing.  be blessed.
  
    ~sha-sha

dertah
Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584

3 posted 2003-10-03 12:13 PM


ahhhh, if life were perfect.  im sorry i dont know where that came from.  good write.
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