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Poet on Acid
Member

since 2001-01-07

Posts 325
Florida, USA

0 posted 2003-10-01 02:47 PM

Have you seen hell
when you do
I'll be there
demons breath
angels death
there is no hell
no hell like the one I feel
no hell like the one I see
there is no hell
a fire in my eyes
can you see me
how many do you see
which one
is the real me
can you tell
can you tell me
have you seen me
when you do
you'll be in hell
angels breath
demons death
it's all twisted now
a fire in my eyes
gone
I See You...

-"Poet Nascitar, Non Fit"
-"A Poet Is Born, Not Made"

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

1 posted 2003-10-01 03:32 PM

Kind of song-like.
Well written

shara
Member

since 2002-05-21

Posts 69
florida/USA

2 posted 2003-10-01 03:34 PM

interesting, if i read you right, you seem to be going through your own personal hell but it seems as though you combined it with the real hell i liked it though, keep writing
~sha-sha

shara
Member

since 2002-05-21

Posts 69
florida/USA

3 posted 2003-10-01 03:36 PM

interesting, if i read you right, you seem to be going through your own personal hell (we all do at some point in our life) but it seems as though you combined it with the real hell (for lack of better term) i liked it though, keep writing
~sha-sha

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

4 posted 2003-10-01 04:34 PM

this was a tight poem, i like how the poem kinda turns itself around for the last part of the poem. very nice.

Silent Evincar
Member

since 2003-07-22

Posts 179
Here There and Places Between

5 posted 2003-10-01 05:34 PM

The breath of an angel and the death of a demon. Compounded and respectable but I was a little ify about all the me's. Other than that, pat on the back.

NJS

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

6 posted 2003-10-23 05:15 PM

ohhhhhh.....creepy

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

7 posted 2003-12-02 06:35 PM

Creepy, but good! I hope to read more.
~kissa~

duncan idaho
Member

since 2003-11-14

Posts 70
dune

8 posted 2003-12-02 08:39 PM

i see that the acid is helping. good poem.

*Belabebeautiful*

Senior Member

since 2003-01-03

Posts 696
washington, USA

9 posted 2003-12-03 11:19 PM

I liked it, very intense almost trance-like..definitly a good write flows well reads well all around good effects on reader. Meaning leaves reader thinking too, personal hell or real?? Lovely work
~Live and Laugh~

Because of you I laugh a little harder, smile a little more, and cry a little less
~Bella~

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