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Teen Poetry #7
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young_blood
Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

0 posted 2003-09-28 03:49 PM



awake, o sleeper from thy slumber!!
time is calling to you, whispering events.
watch for the friendships and love for which you hunger,
they pass by without a fond farewell.
Each Pill of Desperation you ingest
pushes you further from your imagined darkness.
Take heart!! the light overcomes the black digest.
good shall trample evil and hope will pass through our hearts.
the peace that surpasses our knowledge will prevail,
when trial approaches and ill intentions sprout,
the Light of Life rips away the dark veil,
allowing calm to enter in unobstructed.
Nights of sadness and sorrow will come
points of hate will pierce like daggers
but love keeps it pointed at none.
and for once fear releases its deathly grasp
from around your youthful soul,
the freedom involved starts to heal,
and soon you'll be made whole

© Copyright 2003 Alex Lewis - All Rights Reserved
Why
Junior Member
since 2003-09-26
Posts 32
Middle of nowhere
1 posted 2003-09-28 10:59 PM


this is a very interesting piece. it explores good and evil awesomely. i loved it

Poems free us and trap us all the same.
But still they put our hearts at ease.

young_blood
Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN
2 posted 2003-09-30 11:22 PM


i would like some more feedback,

[This message has been edited by young_blood (09-30-2003 11:22 PM).]

dertah
Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584

3 posted 2003-10-23 05:09 PM


made whole???????  whats that?  (said sarcastically)
loveislove
Member
since 2006-06-25
Posts 59
USA
4 posted 2006-06-26 09:23 PM


again, wow! im sorry, but im obsessed now...but yeah, really..i dont know ive already used all the descriptive words i can think of on ur other poetry but still its really awesome! omg i cant freaking get over it now!

"when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join them in a mutual weirdness and call it love-true love"

oh_my_goshijustgotexcited
Member
since 2006-07-12
Posts 52
USA, IDAHO
5 posted 2006-07-12 09:34 PM


haha...look likes you you have a crazed fan...lol but anyways, i liked it i thought that it could use some different words, but dont ask me what because i couldnt tell you, i liked it though so...yeah, WRITE MORE!

Viola

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591
USA
6 posted 2006-07-12 09:55 PM


young_blood.. I agree this is very interesting.. I love the way you described the highlights in the poem here. I always love your work.. it's got a dark sense to it.


"watch for the friendships and love for which you hunger,
they pass by without a fond farewell.
Each Pill of Desperation you ingest
pushes you further from your imagined darkness."

These are my favorite lines in the whole poem.. watch for the friendships and love for which you hunger... wow.. what more can I say..each pill of desperation.. I can really relate to that... I know you probably want some contructive critiques but I don't have anything bad to say about this.. great job..

~Heather~

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

ambivalence
Junior Member
since 2006-07-13
Posts 15
Canada
7 posted 2006-07-13 02:12 PM


Very powerful.
Alone in the dark
Member
since 2006-02-10
Posts 105
On the edge of an abyss
8 posted 2006-07-13 04:19 PM


You may be 19 Alex, but you have an old soul.
Your writing has a beautiful and refreshing quality. Reminds me of the days when poetry was more...poetic. You're very gifted.
                                      

^*^Angel^*^

hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
9 posted 2006-07-13 09:06 PM


wow that was strong
hunnie*

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

young_blood
Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN
10 posted 2006-07-14 12:55 PM


thank you all for reading. it's encouraging to pop back on here and see people still enjoying my writing. it really makes me smile. so thank you all.
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