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Teen Poetry #7
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Obsolete
Junior Member
since 2003-06-27
Posts 43


0 posted 2003-09-24 11:19 PM



She spoke last night,
told me how frustrated she was
Explained how confused she is,
She didn't know what to do
I didn't even call her mine,
much less call her on the phone
I said I would work on it,
Gave a promise of more effort
I'm sure I'll be what I know I am..
(Sooner or later)
As soon as I figure out,
what is real and what isn't
You deserve my all,
and I know this
But the last time I gave my all,
I lost it all

© Copyright 2003 Obsolete - All Rights Reserved
Kandi
Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354
North of Hell
1 posted 2003-09-25 12:56 PM


I used to know someone like this...interesting to get a glimpse of what it must have been like from their point of view.
I really enjoyed this. It's so honest and heartwrenching. Great job. Going in my library.
-Kristin

Just wanna be funny,looks like the joke's on me.
So call me Captain Backfire.

Deep_Inside
Member
since 2002-02-14
Posts 377
i can't stop hiding
2 posted 2003-09-26 01:45 PM


i didn't like this pice that much(sorry). ther was a feel i gave me that didn't set right something like setting up for disaster. but keep righting
lauren03
Member
since 2002-01-04
Posts 64
oh, usa
3 posted 2003-09-26 03:06 PM


good write, it sounds kind of confused though, or was it suppost to be like that? interesting because i think a friend of mine is having the same problem.
Why
Junior Member
since 2003-09-26
Posts 32
Middle of nowhere
4 posted 2003-09-27 05:51 PM


that was a nice poem. it wasn't great but it was nice. just a tad bit confusing
dertah
Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584

5 posted 2003-10-23 10:01 AM


hmmmmm, then so quick to drift to another.  just talking to myself.  good write.
SilentTears
Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 371
Lost and Broken
6 posted 2003-10-23 11:50 AM


Wow, this was very interesting. I liked it very much. I really liked how you ended it, too. Beautifully done. Nice job. Definitely going in my library.

*I figured out that trust was just my one mistake...*

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