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Teen Poetry #7
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Toasty
Member
since 2003-06-09
Posts 74
my little hole in wisconsin

0 posted 2003-09-22 10:34 AM



Unbroken
and wondering
how I'd gotten this way
a token
good girl
but gone astray

bleeding
from fights
and emotional scars
needing
a dream to
escape to the stars

alone
and unable to
just get a grip
a drone
needing space
a faraway trip

finding
acceptance
a chance to be free
binding
is broken
someone trusts me

learning
that sometimes
life isn't fair
turning
to find
that someone cares

laughing
'cause joy has
entered my life

loving
despite everything...

             he is my life

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness; Nothing so gentle as real strength."  -Francis de Sales.

© Copyright 2003 Patricia Clark - All Rights Reserved
peachesNcream
Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears
1 posted 2003-09-22 06:47 PM


Great work! This was AWESOME! ~Jess

"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go." -Herman Hesse

Olive_8
Junior Member
since 2003-09-20
Posts 41
Canada
2 posted 2003-09-22 06:53 PM


I totally loved it!! I know how you feel and I am glad that I can relate to someone! Thanks!
Toasty
Member
since 2003-06-09
Posts 74
my little hole in wisconsin
3 posted 2003-09-22 10:24 PM


I'm glad you like. Thanks for reading!

~toasty

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness; Nothing so gentle as real strength."  -Francis de Sales.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
4 posted 2003-09-23 01:23 AM



This is a nicely penned piece, Patricia.
I enjoyed the rhythm and flow as well as the ontent.
Well done.
~Vicky

When the power of love overcomes the
love of power the world will know peace.
-Jimi Hendrix

*Belabebeautiful*
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA
5 posted 2003-09-23 02:22 AM


Oh a happy one! YAY! I've been waiting for one of these! Beautifully done, I really liked the way that you spaced out your lines and wording so that certain phrases were lingered on more than others. It was a tecnique that made you think about the words in the poem. Lovely job I enjoyed this imensely!
~Live and Laugh~

The problem with resisting temptation is you never know if you'll get the chance again
~Bella~

young_blood
Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN
6 posted 2003-09-23 03:42 PM


this was a darn tight poem. the rhyming was very very nice. loved it!!it captured me nicely
Toasty
Member
since 2003-06-09
Posts 74
my little hole in wisconsin
7 posted 2003-09-23 07:58 PM


Thankyou for all the feedback guys. I'm glad you liked it.

~toasty

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness; Nothing so gentle as real strength."  -Francis de Sales. " life isn't about the things that happen to you, it's about how you react to them"

[This message has been edited by Toasty (09-23-2003 07:59 PM).]

Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...
8 posted 2003-09-23 08:25 PM


This was good. Thanks for the read and keep 'em coming.

"I'm tired of being what you want me to be."~Linkin Park

Toasty
Member
since 2003-06-09
Posts 74
my little hole in wisconsin
9 posted 2003-09-24 11:19 PM


wow... thankyou

~toasty

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness; Nothing so gentle as real strength."  -Francis de Sales.

dertah
Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584

10 posted 2003-10-17 05:19 PM


yes, it swings both ways doesnt?
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