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Dark Poetry #4
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The Esoteric Being
Junior Member
since 2008-07-22
Posts 34
MA, USA

0 posted 2008-11-25 05:13 PM


Whose life is this
If it is only you I listen to?
Whose life is this
When it is your choices I pursue?

Why live this way
If your presence causes me pain?
Why live this way
When you are what makes me insane?

Slowly, I knew
That I needed to get away.
Slowly, it’s true,
I didn’t feel the need to stay.

I have broken
Your vines of lies keeping me alone.
I have awoken
To realize choices are my own.

----------------
The Esoteric Being
     

© Copyright 2008 Suki Donatzsky - All Rights Reserved
prize
Member
since 2008-11-21
Posts 116

1 posted 2008-11-26 01:28 PM


wow, i love it...especially the last stanza:

I have broken
Your vines of lies keeping me alone.
I have awoken
To realize choices are my own.

I can completely feel the words you write here.

thank you, p

The Esoteric Being
Junior Member
since 2008-07-22
Posts 34
MA, USA
2 posted 2008-11-27 11:39 AM


Thank you, That is my favorite stanza as well. I'm still strongly considering revision on a few other lines.


~Suki

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