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Dark Poetry #4
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angelfacegurl
Member
since 2008-04-17
Posts 67
Swartz Creek, MI

0 posted 2008-10-23 03:23 PM



you bring me hope
i found new ways to cope
with your hug
its better than a drug
i cant get enough
you make me weak but tough
i can stick up for you
i dont want you to go through
life like i did
but still your just a kid
im weak with your touch
and i love you so much
you never held a groudge
when i came you didnt judge
you loved me as if i was always there
ans thats why i care
you took one big part
and that was my heart
i saw it in your eyes
like a big suprise
so when you hurt or sick
i wish i could have took the pick
and made it me
to you my love is free
as i open my heart up
lindsey it will never shut
atleast not to you
believe me because its true
you stole me away
but thats ok
it was meant to be
becuase i love you as you love me


© Copyright 2008 Brittany - All Rights Reserved
ken206573
Member
since 2008-10-14
Posts 487

1 posted 2008-10-23 05:09 PM


i was touched by this poem. i like it.


Dreamflight
Junior Member
since 2008-10-22
Posts 15
USA
2 posted 2008-10-23 09:38 PM


I like the sentiments in this poem, but the rhymes sound forced.  Not all poetry has to rhyme - maybe you should try a style that allows for more freedom.  That way you'd be able to express yourself without so many limitations, and be able to choose the words you want, instead of the words that rhyme.  =)

I left it all behind, and never said goodbye...

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