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Dark Poetry #4
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NormalitxButterfly
Member
since 2008-07-09
Posts 107


0 posted 2008-08-10 04:34 AM



i keep telling myself that i did the right thing
looking back now...
looking at what it cost me i cant remember,
was it worth it? what did i gain?
either way i lost my life
even now i'm struggling to stay awake
lulled to sleep by questions i just cant figure out losing sight of that thin thread of sanity
i still dont know why i ran away....
why i was afraid
the air around me thickins with each breath i shouldnt have takin
i keep trying to pretend that i'm ok now,
but this flesh...my soul it pulls me down
steadly falling in this sufficatiing silence it tears at the fabric of my lies,
i lose another piece of me
whats left?
i keep holding on trying to be strong
and i dont know why anymore
clinging to shadows in the dark....
memories of a light i could never reach
life wasnt suppose to end this way ....
my fate locked away in a bird cage
i dont even remember how to fly anymore
my single wing reduced to a useless flap of scared flesh

© Copyright 2008 Olivia - All Rights Reserved
Mystress May
Member
since 2007-10-25
Posts 296
Taunton, MA
1 posted 2008-08-11 03:20 AM


Hey doll!

Well, your profile doesn't 'encourage critiques'

i dont even remember how to fly anymore

my single wing reduced to a useless flap of scared flesh

This is one of the greatest lines I've read in a long time. It strikes me right to the core.

You're definitely a talented writer. I do believe that your spelling could use more focus. But I do know that many writers have more important things to focus on than spelling. Words are important.... the spelling is secondary. It's just a facet to focus on if you have the time and energy.

Your words are beautiful and they have a true effect on me. Thank you.

~~~Amanda~~~

Our scars are the foundation for what we have become

NormalitxButterfly
Member
since 2008-07-09
Posts 107

2 posted 2008-11-10 10:01 PM


that means alot

I leave to walk ahead, only to be lost
Even though I cannot see the end, I think it's alright
I will leave on a journey at range, it's alright if i

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