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Dark Poetry #4
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Tyler's Lost Angel
New Member
since 2008-05-21
Posts 5


0 posted 2008-07-23 07:15 PM



razors pain you
rivers are damp
acids stain you
and drugs cause cramps
guns aren't lawful
nooses give
gas smells awful
you might as well live

© Copyright 2008 Tyler's Lost Angel - All Rights Reserved
Mystress May
Member
since 2007-10-25
Posts 296
Taunton, MA
1 posted 2008-07-23 08:59 PM


I know that it wasn't the intention of your poem... but I laughed... and literally out loud (my neighbors already think I'm crazy). The situation isn't funny.... the idea isn't funny... but the process behind it and the irony... it definitely had a dark humour to it. Perhaps I'm a sick person... forgive me if I offend you. I'm outspoken and have difficulty holding my tongue.

The way that you strung the words together... I enjoyed it... but it wasn't until the end that it struck me (again... are we seeing a trend at all?) Perhaps it's because I've felt it myself, so I see the irony?

At any rate... the trend that I mentioned... that is not a bad thing. It means that you take your words and tie them up in a different package than I expected.... but a much better package. I really enjoy it.

Our scars are the foundation for what we have become

midnightdreamer
Member
since 2008-02-03
Posts 309
Roy,ut
2 posted 2008-07-23 10:15 PM


great poem again.
midnightdreamer

"It was heaven........right in the center of hell" Bella from New Moon

BeyaK
Member
since 2008-08-07
Posts 126
Philippines
3 posted 2008-08-08 05:30 AM


nice one...though short, but i like reading it.
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