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Dark Poetry #4
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Do me wrong
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Do me wrong |
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Spuddette Member
since 2008-07-03
Posts 112England |
Steal me conceal me in the cellar of your soul Bind me Bury me Swallow me whole Steal me reveal me In the woods after dark Pilfer my belongings Strip me Stark Steal me Embezzle me Net or gross Trick me Into infamy Inject me with a lethal dose Steal me Assault me Force an entry Hold me up Cheat me of All wordly goods Cyphon off my luck Steal me Harass me Dog my day Poach my night Bother me Beset me Do me wrong And do it right. |
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XGarapanX Senior Member
since 2008-06-19
Posts 1435Antarctica |
A very thrusting piece, like a sword slashing left and right. ·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· |
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Again Junior Member
since 2008-05-13
Posts 47 |
This is very interesting..I had to read it twice. The ending is great. |
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Spuddette Member
since 2008-07-03
Posts 112England |
Thanks XGarapanX and thanks again Again (the best compliment is when someone goes back and reads it again). This poem runs with a bit of a theme of mine, another of which from the same group goes like this: Read me Pronounce me With tender intonation Take me One word at a time Abandon all your punctuation Hold my stanzas Feel the rhythm of my rhyme Read me Rush me Roll my scribbles across your lips Tickle your tonsils With my jingles Spin my euphonious bits Read me Title me Compose me at will Bend my meaning Conquer my couplets Dangle off my dactyls Read me Verb me Like an adjective noun Forgive my wild rhetoric Plagiarize me All over town Read me Read me again Read me. |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Perhaps it is because I am a man that I saw this as a poem ripe with visceral sexual inuendo. Two speakers came to mind when I read. The first was money -- just plain, simple money -- while the second was a woman. Money is that which we all desire and which we use as an engine in order to enable the practice of everything from the best to the worst deeds of humanity. As to the woman, she was perhaps vaguely critiquing society (perhaps reminiscent of Pauline Reage's O). Maybe she was just expressing what was on her mind. In any case I think I must repeat back at you your message concerning critiques. If I am wrong in my assessment of your poem and do tell it like it is. Thanks for a great read. |
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Spuddette Member
since 2008-07-03
Posts 112England |
fractal007 - I really like your thoughts about the speaker being money, I hadnt thought of that and I can really see where you are coming from. However, you were on the money with the voice being that of a woman. I was just kind of playing with the idea of sexual desire being disguised in firstly a darker theme, then the language of...well language I suppose. The 3rd in the group goes is below and with a a rather masculine motor theme probably leaves you under no illusions...and really, thanks for your reply. Janet x Drive Me Ride me Do it full pelt Honk me Tax me Break my fan-belt Drive me Wax me Polish my hubs Buff me Haul me Dip my nuts in grease tubs Drive me Fuel me Go go on amber Wheel me Steer me Down an adverse camber Drive me Clutch me Give me a crank Beat out my bumper Plunge your rod In my tank Drive me Park me Line me with leather Tow me Hot wire me Wreck me forever. |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
It's getting hot in here. I'm not a moderator, but isn't that more suited for the adult forums? In any case, the fact that I happen to be reading Stephen Mitchel's modern English translation of Gilgamesh (just finished the bit about the goddes Ishtar trying to seduce Gilgamesh) right now does little to prevent me from making suggestive connections  . |
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XGarapanX Senior Member
since 2008-06-19
Posts 1435Antarctica |
*head spins* ·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms janet... use me slowly until you are mastered eternally enjoyed your are here |
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BeyaK Member
since 2008-08-07
Posts 126Philippines |
i like reading this one... |
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Mystress May Member
since 2007-10-25
Posts 296Taunton, MA |
Hey doll.... love the original piece.... the second piece, as well. The third piece.... I truly adore! Perhaps it's that you combined my adoration of cars and sensuality into one great package! Love it! Our scars are the foundation for what we have become |
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