»
Archives
»
Dark Poetry #4
»
Empty
| Dark Poetry #4 |
|
Empty |
|
hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
I see people all looking happy thinking, that used to be me but now i'm empty ahh... dangggg i'll have to come back to this one day.. lemme know what you think of the beginning *blush* Krysti |
||
| © Copyright 2008 Krysti - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
XGarapanX Senior Member
since 2008-06-19
Posts 1435Antarctica |
Do not blush, Poetess.  Were you trying to write this as an improv right here in the forum? Well, I have only a few things to say about it myself. It's almost a complete poem in one sense, as it says the states the thesis and the writers conclusion in a breath, lol! But as an art piece, I have seen only of few of your poems and already know you to have an ability far superior to this humble start.·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· |
||
|
hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
I see them all looking happy remembering how I used to be until you left me empty well.. i dont really wana write more on this atm.. but it would work as a small poem too lol thanks a bunch Brett  Krysti |
||
|
Again Junior Member
since 2008-05-13
Posts 47 |
I know exactly what you are trying to say and the tone you wanted to use. I get it, in a few words, I got what you were trying to do. |
||
|
fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
9-7-5? Did you intend that number of syllables? The moment of melancholy lends itself well to haiku and I'm happy to see someone capturing those awful moments we all have in a poetic gem like this one. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
