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Dark Poetry #4
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Treagal
Junior Member
since 2008-01-08
Posts 38


0 posted 2008-01-08 09:24 AM


A Full Moon Death

Swirling flowing liquid
Oozing, creeping slowly
Lying face down
Eyes glisten brightly
Cramping, crackling skin
Peeling outer layer
Blank wide face
Mouth gaping open
Numbing pain throughout.

An induced stasis
with uninduced cringing.

Shrieking, wailing bats
Bell toll creepers
Clouds hued blue
Full moon light
Shadowed swaying trees
Rooted deep down.
Howling for blood
Midnight creatures coming-
His dread revealed.
Clicking claws torment
Snarling gutteral yips
Searing, painful stabs
Sharpened playful nails
Keen edged teeth
Feeling the crunch
Breath fading, faltering
Warping body shape
Loosing form rapidly
A blank stare
Inability to cry
Limp limbed retching.
Non remorseful mouths
Ripping, shredding, chomping
crash of limbs
dragged feet first
Crying for a savior.

With no hope.
With no future.

Pacified.
Putrified.

© Copyright 2008 Treagal - All Rights Reserved
EagleScorpion
Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644
Here, Now, Forever
1 posted 2008-01-09 04:10 AM


oh yeah..... oh yeah.... me likey ! ! !

Well done. This one needs no critiquing. It is already perfect.

dragoon
Junior Member
since 2008-01-09
Posts 19

2 posted 2008-01-09 07:41 PM


Very nice indeed. You put some decent thought into it and got decent results.
Twilight Warrior
Member
since 2007-02-22
Posts 106
The World That Never Was
3 posted 2008-01-09 09:22 PM


I've never seen this style before. This was an excellent write. I like how the title revealed what was actually going on.

"One last drink and the bottle breaks, returning us to the dust from whence we came"

Jaki H
Member
since 2008-01-19
Posts 232
NJ, USA
4 posted 2008-01-20 11:41 AM


WOW... this is pretty much one of the best poems ive read here so far!!! good job!!!!
Treagal
Junior Member
since 2008-01-08
Posts 38

5 posted 2008-01-21 05:46 PM


Thank you for your inspiring comments! I still think there are ways to make it even better, and am working furiously to achieve that.
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