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Dark Poetry #4
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thisismysecrethobby
New Member
since 2007-12-21
Posts 2
[972] TEXASS :] yumm

0 posted 2007-12-21 07:30 PM


Shoulders slumped, head tall,
Another slight trip, another tragic fall,
The thick blood filled globet sits in waiting,
You sit in golden silence, quietly debating,

With trembling fingers your hand reaches out,
The silver rim is raised to your soft, velvety mouth,
On your tongue, and down it goes,
Toward your throat, and toward your toes,
And now the deed has long been done,
We smile, enjoying the morbid fun.


[This message has been edited by thisismysecrethobby (12-21-2007 10:53 PM).]

© Copyright 2007 Jamie Danielle - All Rights Reserved
thisismysecrethobby
New Member
since 2007-12-21
Posts 2
[972] TEXASS :] yumm
1 posted 2007-12-21 07:33 PM


comments?

sorry, my first entry to basically, ever write.

some of it's off.
but i sorta like it.

hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
2 posted 2007-12-22 02:02 AM


We smile, enjoying the morbid fun.~

Welcome to passions...This poems was a little hard to understand try adding more to it or making yourself more clear...But the flow was good and besides i did like it a lot.. My greatest advice for you if you want people to comment on your work try replying to others poems.. great way for ppl to get to know and see your name. Best of luck and hope to read more soon..also check out teen poetry.. you might be well fitted there being in junior high and all
Krysti

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