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Dark Poetry #4
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Seeker72
Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387
Oregon USA

0 posted 2007-10-30 10:39 AM


THIS IS NO DREAM
.
Born without asking

       Forced into the world screaming our defiance

It goes out to deaf ears

                    All eyes looking on at the marvel of the life created this day

Our screams go unanswered as they wash away the protective coat we had carried since time began

We carry those screams with us, as we grow older

                             Sometimes we remember them

Most do not

We are taught to believe that those screams are the lungs filling with the glory of everything around

The glory of God

                 Of man

Of the very fabric of creation

                                    The sad fact is those screams

They do not celebrate man

As every babe is born they scream the mantra

                                                              The world over they scream the same thing

The loss

                   They scream the loss of God

Loss of the words whispered as they slept

                                                       They know it
As once we did

                      They know that from this point on they are on their own

As we now are

                        Those stories of perfection vanish in the coming winds

Those softly spoken words that warmed you totally

                                                                           Gone

This is no dream we live

                                    This is no lie we were told

This is just

           It is us

                     It is what we have made it

No Angels to save the lost

                           I see no miracles

I hear no words of wisdom from the son of a carpenter

Those days have past

                     As Judas has past

Hell beckons

                    As Heaven motions

Earth falls

               As man triumphs

Humanity crumbles

                              As the world dies

This dream

This hideous dream we strive for

                                            This dream we live in

Never wishing to wake from

                           Reality is such a harsh mother

Forever beating the child

           Trying desperately

To wake us from this dream

[This message has been edited by Seeker72 (10-31-2007 12:36 AM).]

© Copyright 2007 Christopher Duncan - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2007-10-30 06:45 PM


read it backwards...almost all the way up, it reads good...until about..."Nor the explosion of new life"

but that just may be me, backwards
just the lines, read them in reverse...not the actual words backwards...

Mystress May
Member
since 2007-10-25
Posts 296
Taunton, MA
2 posted 2007-10-30 07:02 PM


Sea.... I read it from bottom to top as you suggested.... you're right!

Seeker... another great piece!

Seeker72
Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387
Oregon USA
3 posted 2007-10-31 12:32 PM


Thank you guys!

I wondered if anyone would actually read it backwards.

It's hard at first but once you try it goes better the second time round.

I did this, believe it or not drunk, I thought of the continuation of life, from death comes rebirth.

We do strange things when we drink...   ;-)

Though as Sea did point out I do need to work on a few lines.

Thanks again.

Seeker72
Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387
Oregon USA
4 posted 2007-10-31 12:37 PM


I removed the line "Nor"

Yet there still are a few points that feel rough.

Any Ideas?

I must also point out I didn't write it to read both ways intentionally, I realized it once I floated through the last 5 lines that it read backwards and changed a few words to make it read more smoothly.

I wish I could write like that while knowing it sadly... I'm not that good.

;-)

SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
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with you
5 posted 2007-10-31 02:16 PM


yeah, now reading it in reverse, it's really cool both ways...that's neat.
Mystress May
Member
since 2007-10-25
Posts 296
Taunton, MA
6 posted 2007-11-04 12:56 PM


Seeker.... you are amazing. Every time I read your words my chest swells and my throat tightens. (That is a good thing, for the record)!
Seeker72
Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387
Oregon USA
7 posted 2007-11-04 10:25 AM


Mystress May.

You're words are too kind, thank you very much.

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