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Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand

0 posted 2007-10-22 04:50 AM


His ink, his gold, his black and white,
His faceless moons and starry bright,
His sun, his day, his end and light,
His “Everything; everything will be all right.”

His smile, his heart, his wake and sleep,
His coffee and breakfast and sugar heap,
His eyes, so blue and waterfall deep,
His Little Bo Peep counting his snowy sheep.

His song, his voice, his bite and bark,
His dark night owl and his sunny morning lark,
His nights in a book, his walks in a park,
His holding my hand in the midnight dark.

His girl, his baby, his friend and wife,
His love in the middle of desperate strife,
His gun, his rope, his blade and knife,
His saying goodbye to the rest of my life.


[sorry for the bad rhyme - it was one of those days]


Come on God, do I seem bulletproof?

© Copyright 2007 Courtney - All Rights Reserved
Twilight Warrior
Member
since 2007-02-22
Posts 106
The World That Never Was
1 posted 2007-10-22 09:32 PM


I didn't know where this one was heading until the end. I think the lines in the poems need a little more connection to each other. Overall I did like the poem, especially rhe cool ending.

"One last drink and the bottle breaks, returning us to the dust from whence we came"

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand
2 posted 2007-10-24 01:03 AM


Hehe, thank you.
Yeah to be honest, I had no idea where it would end up myself. Just one of those late nights. Didn't even intend on posting it, but I haven't been on for a while...yadayadayada.

But thanks!
Hollow.
Courtney.

Come on God, do I seem bulletproof?

Purity
Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526
Once Upon, USA
3 posted 2007-10-27 12:32 PM


Ah, my little all-black is growing so fast!

The amazing thing (and sad at the same time) is that I could read this one and relate it line by line...nay... word for word to my own existence. I so feel with you.

When they say that great minds think alike, I guess they didn't realize the torment we share.

Excellent write, Hollow. And it is so good to be able to correspond with an old(?) friend!

Love always,

Carri

hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
4 posted 2007-10-27 01:39 PM


His gun, his rope, his blade and knife,
His saying goodbye to the rest of my life.~

Wow this was so amazing I loved this and I am glad I decided to come visit dark poetry today
Krysti

silhouetted
Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537
New Zealand
5 posted 2007-10-27 07:11 PM


awwww the start made me sooo "squeeee" i duno. i just want to feel like that! like how u describe it!!

i think we should definitely keep posting here occasionally. its a very good vent.

as long as we laugh out loud, laugh like we're mad. because this crazy, mixed up beauty is all that we have.

Mystress May
Member
since 2007-10-25
Posts 296
Taunton, MA
6 posted 2007-10-27 11:29 PM


nicely written.... loved the last two lines!

Our scars are the foundation for what we have become

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