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Dark Poetry #4
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moondogz
Member
since 2007-05-01
Posts 397
Great White North

0 posted 2007-10-11 04:26 AM



Internal Combustion

Sun spot flares, and rocking chairs.
And stars that shoot from the hip.

Before my eyes, I was cast,
into the void of nuclear fission.

Got lost in space,
and forgot my mission.

Out at the edge of the Universe,
'till hunger pulled me back to nurse.

At last I recalled,
the final verse.

And awoke in the back,
of a Cadillac hearse.

Homeward bound,
in a pine box.

Finally I listened,
to the owl and the fox.









© Copyright 2007 Paul R Breen - All Rights Reserved
taramw
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738

1 posted 2007-10-11 08:46 AM


I love the words you have used in this.  Particularly the first few lines   It should be lengthened and made into a song!!!!

It's better to be a lion for a day than a sheep all your life.
-- Sister Elizabeth Kenny

Seeker72
Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387
Oregon USA
2 posted 2007-10-11 10:27 AM


Another good one MD, I liked it.

It flowed perfectly and being a morbid bugger I loved how it ended.

moondogz
Member
since 2007-05-01
Posts 397
Great White North
3 posted 2007-10-11 10:40 AM


thanks taramw, I was just enjoying your poem "I wasn't worth it," on open poetry #41.
  I see what you mean...like after the word nurse..it could be added to.  Thanks for your insight.

moondogz
Member
since 2007-05-01
Posts 397
Great White North
4 posted 2007-10-11 10:42 AM


Hey Seeker72, I love your poems so much that it's a special treat getting a compliment from you...thanks man.

Seeker72
Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387
Oregon USA
5 posted 2007-10-11 10:59 AM


Stop it you'll make me blush.  ;-)
The Jackal
Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 426
Springfield, Massachusetts U.S.A
6 posted 2007-10-11 08:04 PM


very nice phrasing, great choice of words take care

The Mongrel cat came home, Holding half a head proceeded to show it off to all his new found friends

moondogz
Member
since 2007-05-01
Posts 397
Great White North
7 posted 2007-10-11 11:56 PM


Thanks for the feedback TJ, much appreciated.
              moon.

Abbeon
Member
since 2006-11-30
Posts 228
Curiousity, and wonder
8 posted 2007-10-16 02:34 PM


Wow I feel so privileged to have read that, because I love your writing. Amazing work as always

Abbeon

The world behind these thoughtful eyes, caution may seem crazy.

Seeker72
Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387
Oregon USA
9 posted 2007-10-27 04:59 PM


Where is Moondogz?
moondogz
Member
since 2007-05-01
Posts 397
Great White North
10 posted 2007-11-01 10:58 PM


dead.
moondogz
Member
since 2007-05-01
Posts 397
Great White North
11 posted 2007-11-02 06:39 AM


thanks Abbeon...and here's a treat for you,
go to you tube...call up this..http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxH39QlRuhg if that doesn't make you wish you were there...well...rock on!!!!

[This message has been edited by moondogz (11-02-2007 09:38 AM).]

Seeker72
Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387
Oregon USA
12 posted 2007-11-02 12:32 PM


How sad.

R.I.P moondogz.

moondogz
Member
since 2007-05-01
Posts 397
Great White North
13 posted 2007-11-02 02:48 PM


well thanks Seeker72, but I missed all my pip talk pals so I decided to reincarnate...good to see you again.

Seeker72
Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387
Oregon USA
14 posted 2007-11-02 08:04 PM


Good to see your return.

Missed seeing you around here.

moondogz
Member
since 2007-05-01
Posts 397
Great White North
15 posted 2007-11-02 09:17 PM


that's mighty kind of you to say Seeker72, hopefully I'll get a chance to read some of your latest "jewels."

Seeker72
Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387
Oregon USA
16 posted 2007-11-03 12:13 PM


Read away sire.

There are a few I have posted... some of them are a bit.. weird.

so good luck with them.

I am happy to see you back.

Mystress May
Member
since 2007-10-25
Posts 296
Taunton, MA
17 posted 2007-11-04 12:30 PM


moondogz.... this one really makes me happy.... you're very talented!
moondogz
Member
since 2007-05-01
Posts 397
Great White North
18 posted 2007-11-04 02:20 AM


Mystress May thank you for your kind words.

roseofwinter
Junior Member
since 2007-12-03
Posts 12

19 posted 2007-12-06 09:25 AM


Enjoyed this, inspired a poem in me.  Thanks for posting this, and I agree it should be a song.
moondogz
Member
since 2007-05-01
Posts 397
Great White North
20 posted 2007-12-08 01:30 AM


thanks for your comments roseofwinter (nice name) looks like you've been dippin' into the pipsters archives...good for you.
eternally_singing
Member
since 2007-12-18
Posts 123
PA, United States
21 posted 2007-12-20 02:13 PM


I love the words you used in this, especially the first stanza:

Sun spot flares, and rocking chairs.
And stars that shoot from the hip.

Great poem

moondogz
Member
since 2007-05-01
Posts 397
Great White North
22 posted 2007-12-20 05:31 PM


thanks for the compliments eternally-singing, very kind of you to dig into this old dogs archives.
green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx
23 posted 2007-12-31 01:15 AM


its good to listen to wiser voices

Jesus is real.

-GIS

EagleScorpion
Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644
Here, Now, Forever
24 posted 2008-01-01 11:52 PM


niice
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