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Dark Poetry #4
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Alone With Fear
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Alone With Fear |
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Abbeon Member
since 2006-11-30
Posts 228Curiousity, and wonder |
…Lost, alone, afraid… Fear echo’s every footstep, Haunting calls flit forth from the shadows, Before savage, pained, and ragged screams pierce the night. … Run, flee, be fleet, silence… Carried away on the wings of terror, From the temple towards the gates of fear, Leaving behind the blood stained mountain of bodies. …It’s not your fault… They strayed from the path, Her path, her love, your fear, The shadows feast. …Stick to the path… Down the mountain you must run, Do not stay, Your sight is clouded by fear, Blood stains your clothes, your hair, You could not save them. …Its there blood on your hands, But not your heart…. It’s not your fault, You did all you could, You could not, can not save them, Tears sting your eyes, You are almost to the gate. … They have seen you… The shadows close in fast, Your close but there closer, Your almost there just a few more meters, A few feet, a few steps. … HURRY… As you set foot under the gates bloodied arch, You hear your clothes rip, You feel your flesh tear, The hot blood trickling down your shoulder. …Pain, relief, Pain… You cross through the gate, The red light is gone, You shake with exhaustion, Blood seeps through your clothes. … Sleep, darkness, sorrow, rage, PAIN, awaken…. You awake, To the hands of serenity, Washing clean your wounds, You will live, Sleep now in peace. … It’s not your fault… They ran from fear, You held them close, They ran towards fear, While trying to run away from it. …Peace, serenity, hope, life… It’s not your fault, You can be scared, so scared, So afraid, But you are not alone. [This message has been edited by Abbeon (09-27-2007 11:25 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2007 Rebecca Mackie - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Abbeon Member
since 2006-11-30
Posts 228Curiousity, and wonder |
For this poem I was trying out a new style I was told about, it’s suppose to make the reader fell the panic that the subject feels can you please tell me if it worked. Thanks *hugs* Abbeon. |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
wow miss you so much hun I hope to read more of your amazing work  hugsKrysti |
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moondogz Member
since 2007-05-01
Posts 397Great White North |
Hey, scary stuff Abbeon, almost seemed like you were having a flashback to a previous life...maybe like the Crusades...they were bloody times. Anyway well done...I was frightened!!! moon. |
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Twilight Warrior Member
since 2007-02-22
Posts 106The World That Never Was |
This poem actually made me feel hectic. I liked the feeling of urgency and fear. Excellent poem "One last drink and the bottle breaks, returning us to the dust from whence we came" |
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Abbeon Member
since 2006-11-30
Posts 228Curiousity, and wonder |
Thanks I was worried that no one liked them and that the writing style was poor. As in all my poems with the base at fears trio (I know Hunnie I’m still working on the third it’s just hard to get it wright there are based of how I feel, what I’ve dreamt of or what shet I’ve been through at that time.Thanks for your comments my day just got 10 times better. And please keep writing so I can keep reading a few times what others have commented or written have helped me complete a tough poem. Oh and Hunnie as soon as I can write good work I will post that rhyming poem. The world behind these thoughtful eyes, caution may seem crazy. |
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Tears-of-Sanity Member
since 2007-09-05
Posts 121Kingdom Hearts |
That was so great indeed... It brought me back memories from the life where I never was. I saw flesh torn apart and lives taken by force.. and I saw people running from fear while others running to it. I saw all that but never was a part of it. I have always blamed myself, but people told me it was ok and I didn't have to do it. Your new style really is good and I can tell it was as true as picturing reality. I don't know a lot about life, but I know fear is not something pretty, and knowing how to manage it is something everyone should seek. GFreat writing, and I hope I read more Tears of Sanity~ |
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Seeker72 Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387Oregon USA |
Very cool. I got mixed images of something like Moondogz mentioned, the Crusades and maybe a werewolf scenario either way it was a very good read. It gave you the ability to make it your own. Thank you. |
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GothicCherry Member
since 2008-09-16
Posts 471TN |
it took me into a situation that reminded me of the fear i feel in many other completely different cases....good work. and well written. |
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wolfy09 Member
since 2008-06-10
Posts 93 |
that was awesome it was like i had to read the end it made me slightly tense great job |
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SilhouetteMarquis Junior Member
since 2008-02-07
Posts 32 |
Absolutely wonderful! The interluding passages are almost like a voice in one's head, which certainly does give the reader a sense of frantic immersion a poet so desperately tries for. What is this style called, by the way? It is very intriguing, possibly a style I'd like to try in the future! Keep up the good work! |
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depressedivinity New Member
since 2008-09-19
Posts 6 |
interesting piece, i felt the terror portrayed through your words. |
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Abbeon Member
since 2006-11-30
Posts 228Curiousity, and wonder |
There is no style. Its simply a nightmare of mine. I use to write what i felt, now i am trying to find my passion and insperation. Words have power, Im going to unleash the power of my soul. |
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Blood.Wolf Member
since 2009-02-09
Posts 54GA, USA |
Hehe. I almost panicked... Then I remembered that this was just a poem. Excellent work. |
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