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Dark Poetry #4

The end is near...

jeevs
New Member

since 2007-07-10

Posts 4

0 posted 2007-07-10 06:08 PM

First off before I start I'd like to say that this would be my first poem EVER, also English is not my native language but I still enjoy writing and speaking English. With that said I hope that you can be forgiving and remember that I'm a newcomer

(I still want constructive criticism.)

This popped up in my head yesterday when I went to bed:

"The end is near, the end is near.
Pain, death and suffering everywhere.

The end is near, the end is near.
Everyday, life of man balancing upon the tip of a spear.

The end is near, the end is near.
Say a prayer for all that you hold dear.

The end is near, the end is near.
Soon the world of man will tremble with fear..."

blue face
Member

since 2007-06-03

Posts 92

1 posted 2007-07-11 01:36 PM

nice poem! I wish I could write like that.
and welcome to piptalk
hope to read more.

P.S. english isn't my native language either but enjoy it too.

Sarah

BrittanyJ
Member

since 2007-06-03

Posts 461
Come find me?

2 posted 2007-07-11 05:09 PM

Wow...scary

Nice write and welcome to pip!! And you english seemed just fine.

So no more hiding all your pain, you deserve a new start. That's why i'm closing myself away, this is a message from your heart.

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

3 posted 2007-07-12 01:09 AM

welsome to Passions gret to have you here. I liked your first post

hunnie.

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

jeevs
New Member

since 2007-07-10

Posts 4

4 posted 2007-07-13 06:36 AM

Thanks! Great to be here!

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