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navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #4 » Hurt.
Dark Poetry #4
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lovergurl
Member
since 2007-05-08
Posts 59
va
0 posted 2007-05-10 11:16 PM


Look into her beautiful eyes,
Uncover all her lies.
Look into her heart,
Do you see it all torn apart?
Look at her eyes starting to form tears,
Can you see all the pain and hurt from over the years?
Look at her;;stare her down,
Study her smile that's covering up her frown.

Becca.
© Copyright 2007 Rebecca L. L. - All Rights Reserved
hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
1 posted 2007-05-15 11:38 PM

I think you should add more to this it was good... but the ending was kinda missing something I think... but I know this feeling very well...
hunnie.

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~
lovergurl
Member
since 2007-05-08
Posts 59
va
2 posted 2007-05-15 11:47 PM

yes yes, I agree with you on this one. I wrote this poem in a quick few minutes, I had alot on my brain and just jotted it down.
I jsut dont know what I should add to it.

Becca.
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navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #4 » Hurt.

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