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Dark Poetry #4
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tearsofpain
Junior Member
since 2007-05-03
Posts 38


0 posted 2007-05-03 12:24 PM



Constantly feeling the fat pushing through my skin even though the hunger pains haunt me from within 100 pounds , 90 ,80 ,when will it end maybe when I’m 6 feet in, besides a breathing corpse is what ana wants me to be and deep inside I agree going along with her plan promising to starve as long as I can the longer I do it the stronger she gets what a dark place to be I open my eyes and cannot see could it be years of teaching myself food is the enemy or could it be the lack of energy from not taking care of me and no beta carotene and of course ana doesn’t care she is always there reminding me not to eat grossed out and saying look at your body and all that meat!!!!!!! too bad for Christy because ana has her fangs sunk in deep the only escape is sleep but sure enough as I open my eyes ana is feeling for ribs and checking my thighs my mind wants to live my body wants to be thin as we all know ana will win because her host is what she chose me to be so now her secret is out ana always eats because she feeds off of me !!!!!!!!!!!

© Copyright 2007 tearsofpain - All Rights Reserved
tearsofpain
Junior Member
since 2007-05-03
Posts 38

1 posted 2007-05-03 01:14 AM


it maybe hard to understand but when reading just think about anything u may have struggled with in life...
aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
2 posted 2007-05-03 02:42 AM


You know, this is amazing and powerful.  You took me some place I have never been - thank you.

Alison

aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
3 posted 2007-05-03 02:47 AM


One thing, I would love to see you edit this and use puncuation and proper sentence structure/capitalization.  I think that would just add the final bit to showcase the words you wrote.  Your poem is a keeper and I am going to add it to my library.

Thank you again.

A

tearsofpain
Junior Member
since 2007-05-03
Posts 38

4 posted 2007-05-03 08:36 AM


thank you so much when i start to write i just kinda go free hand and let it flow
lovergurl
Member
since 2007-05-08
Posts 59
va
5 posted 2007-05-08 11:03 PM


I love it. It's so sad, I love how you worded it.

Becca.

hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
6 posted 2007-05-23 01:00 AM


Wow I can semi relate to this one... The only thing I would work on is the structure but the words were great
hunnie.

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

Abbeon
Member
since 2006-11-30
Posts 228
Curiousity, and wonder
7 posted 2007-05-26 12:49 PM


wow i feel so... wow okay this poem might just be my favorite for the day i was going to read it and im glad i did. simply amazing.

Abbeon

Thanks

tearsofpain
Junior Member
since 2007-05-03
Posts 38

8 posted 2007-06-03 03:58 AM


thank u so much
aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
9 posted 2007-06-03 04:23 AM


I am glad you brought this back up tonight.  I rarely offer suggestions to those who write poetry as we all have our own styles.

This poem is so powerful and shows so much courage. I have come back and read it several times -- thank you for posting it again.  It's important.  Very important.

Alison

tearsofpain
Junior Member
since 2007-05-03
Posts 38

10 posted 2007-06-03 04:36 AM


thank u for reading it
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