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Dark Poetry #4
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Nolimits
New Member
since 2007-03-13
Posts 6


0 posted 2007-03-13 07:10 AM



Tree


An old tree rests in the backyard,
once a strong furnisher of the land,
It's now decaying as time has left it scarred,
as its majesty quickly reduces to sand.

Where are your strong branches?
That once fed fruits to the birds.

Where are your beautiful flowers?
They vanished, just like words.

An axe swings across the air,
Each chop, marking the end of life,
Uprooting misery and despair,
Empty now, the backyard lies.


© Copyright 2007 Nolimits - All Rights Reserved
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
1 posted 2007-03-13 08:39 AM



Welcome to Passions in Poetry, NoLimits.  This is a wonderful place to share your work and enjoy others' poetry as well.  Enjoy..

Nolimits
New Member
since 2007-03-13
Posts 6

2 posted 2007-03-14 05:54 PM


Thanks.
Seeker72
Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387
Oregon USA
3 posted 2007-03-15 12:40 PM


I liked it.

I'm not a fan of rhyming poetry, especially when it's not needed.

A poem like this to me, does not need it. You have an emotion of time of loss that shows in your words, to me throwing in rhyme loses some of the bite but this is just my personal opinion.

When you speak of the dead with every stroke of the axe, is that the death of your memories? or the tree?

I got the feeling the tree was already dead.

It is a good poem my quirks aside, it flowed well and told me all I needed to know about your loss.

I hope to read more of your work.


ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
4 posted 2007-03-16 08:28 AM


Welcome to Passions.

I found your tree very well written.

Enjoyed the rhyme scheme, and appreciated the powerful background of emotion.  Great tone.

Wishing you well, and looking forward to your contributions here.

TD

Kira Aso
Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 351
Closer to Hell...
5 posted 2007-03-17 09:33 PM



Yep, great poem!

Welcome to Passions Nolimits!

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