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James McInerney
Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 83


0 posted 2007-03-04 03:45 PM



"A Poem with no name"


Upon my last breath may I be punished no more,

If your love be that of a sword, so strong and forgiving,

Then let it strike thy heart with a mortal blow.

Alas...,

Worry not my dear,

For no marks or scars will appear across my skin,

Your beauty bestows no pain upon this body that lay before you,

And contempt dare not dwell here.

May your name be whispered upon my dying lips,

like that of dreams,

Where beauty resides knowing loves true form,

Admist heaven.


© Copyright 2007 James McInerney - All Rights Reserved
unholyjudgement
Member
since 2007-02-27
Posts 116
Wherever my soul takes me next
1 posted 2007-03-12 09:09 AM


"Upon my last breath may be punished no more"
Your words pulled me into a realm of nonexistance

jjote
Senior Member
since 2002-12-25
Posts 1088
Ontario, Canada
2 posted 2007-03-18 08:11 AM



Upon my last breath may I be punished no more,

If your love be that of a sword, so strong and forgiving,

Then let it strike thy heart with a mortal blow.


Just a nit.. the bold word above, could that be "my"? It sort of changes meaning depending if the word is "your" instead.

Although, I don't know why this poem should have no name (though the title caught my eye..It feels like a desperate plea from one who's dying from his love's inattention to him? Did I read it right? Sorry if I am dense.


Rottiestyl
Member
since 2007-04-19
Posts 60
Illinois, USA
3 posted 2007-04-19 06:58 PM


Just a beautiful piece.


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