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Seeker72
Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387
Oregon USA

0 posted 2007-02-26 12:44 PM



As my last poem was a bit long, so I'll make this one short.

TIRED


Sitting in my chair

Cat circling at my feet

I grow tired of your presence.

Wind roaring past my window

Take me with you.

© Copyright 2007 Christopher Duncan - All Rights Reserved
jjote
Senior Member
since 2002-12-25
Posts 1088
Ontario, Canada
1 posted 2007-03-11 10:48 PM


No matter if it's short. Sometimes the shorter it is, the easier to get your message across.

I'm confused though -  if you're bored with the other person's presence, to whom does the last line addressed; to this bored person, or you just want the wind to take you away.

just a small nit.

Seeker72
Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387
Oregon USA
2 posted 2007-03-14 12:20 PM


The comment was toward the cat, everyone has a time when even the things they like/love annoy them for no real reason, as the wind roared past, the person wished to go with it hoping to find better things, whether they existed or not.

Thank you for replying.

Seeker72
Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 387
Oregon USA
3 posted 2007-03-14 12:21 PM


The comment was toward the cat, everyone has a time when even the things they like/love annoy them for no real reason, as the wind roared past, the person wished to go with it hoping to find better things, whether they existed or not.

Thank you for replying.

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