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Dark Poetry #4
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Kira Aso
Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 351
Closer to Hell...

0 posted 2007-01-18 11:37 PM




I cringe when I look at you
But you seem to have a different view
Because no emotion shows in your eyes
Not chaos, pain or surprise
I get angry and upset
But your eyes are never wet
Smiles never crack your features
Your face is blanker than my teachers
I would be satisfied if you’d just scream out or yell
But you continue to hide behind your shell
They say eyes are windows to the soul
But yours look so dead and dull
I slam my face up against yours
And glass shatters all over the floors
Another night another mirror
But in the end it’s rather clear
The face I see reflects on me
But still I cannot seem to see
The glass is jagged and stained red
You smiled at me as you bled
My image is distorted and torn in two
I’m on the one side; the other side is you...


© Copyright 2007 Kira Aso - All Rights Reserved
Fairplay
Member
since 2007-01-15
Posts 222
England
1 posted 2007-01-19 02:12 PM


Ahhh but don’t all ladies cringe when they look in the mirror.. this that or the other is too.. big too small.

At first (I think you aimed to do this) I thought you were talking about a “Poker Faced” male partner. Then I gathered that it was a mirror image portraying a person finding not what they feel inside but what they think appears outside.

1. Do you feel comfortable in your own skin
2. Do you love yourself
3. Do you fit into society…( err do you care if you don’t)

Now if you answer NO to these questions this verse is definitely for you if you answer YES you need one more like….

I look at you it brings a smile
My life is full of things worthwhile
To love myself I must be blessed
Not green with envy like the rest      etc etc etc

Kira I haven’t looked at any other of your 265 posts…yet…. I am sure I will in due course

Eric

Kira Aso
Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 351
Closer to Hell...
2 posted 2007-01-19 09:43 PM



Umm...
Well this was supposed to show two different personalities. The one other people see and the one I see. (Guess I didn't do a very good job laying this poem out!) It's an old, old poem that I found in one of my forgetten note books. (It's kinda inconsistant which is probably why it was forgotten)

I answered YES to all your questions but if I put a poem like that up in dark poetry it wouldn't really be considered "Dark" would it?

Thankyou much though for telling me what you thought about my poem though and I'm sorry that it was so confusing. (Should the poet aim to please the reader or him/herself?)

Thanks again Eric,
I'll be looking for your posts!
Hugs and Kisses
Luff Kira

hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
3 posted 2007-01-20 01:16 AM


The glass is jagged and stained red
You smiled at me as you bled
My image is distorted and torn in two
I’m on the one side; the other side is you...~

Kira, amazing I understood this great I guess maybe all that i've been through it makes sense... but that part Kira it gripped me to the page and I'm just like wow that something I get i relate to... WOW..
luv,
hunnie

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

Kira Aso
Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 351
Closer to Hell...
4 posted 2007-01-20 09:12 PM



I'm not sure whether to be happy or sad that you related to Torn in Two. I wrote it when I was going through a really rough time in my life.

I'm happy that you enjoyed it though hunnie!
Alway's love seeing what you have to say.
Lots of hugs and hershey bars!!!!
Luv Kira

hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
5 posted 2007-01-21 12:01 PM


hmmm I guess not a good thing to relate to but, hey, it happened and it's good to look back and see how far i've been since then
Luv,
hunnie

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

blue face
Member
since 2007-06-03
Posts 92

6 posted 2007-06-12 05:17 PM


this is one of my favorite poems
it reminds me of myself


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