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Dark Poetry #4
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Kira Aso
Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 351
Closer to Hell...

0 posted 2007-01-04 03:30 PM




Every step I hear coming down the hall
Every time I hear that I have a phone call
I can’t help but to think for a moment that it might be you
Only to have the allusion shattered after a precious few
Tell me dearest, why it is I still look for you’re face?
Knowing full well that you’ve already finished this earthly race
I tell myself that you’re no longer here
But my heart keeps telling me that you’re somewhere near
For you seem so close for being so out of reach
So close for being past the barrier that death can only breach
I feel you haunting me in the darkest of nights
I feel you haunting me in the crisp morning bright
A memory is perhaps now all you are
But I stand here now with all you’re scars
One day I know I’ll meet you again
But you’ll continue haunting me until then



© Copyright 2007 Kira Aso - All Rights Reserved
hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
1 posted 2007-01-06 12:19 PM


Wow Kira I haven't seen you here for a long time, it's good to see you back. I Haven't been around much anymore but... I liked this poem it seems I don't know like reality...
hunnie

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

click1
Member
since 2003-03-25
Posts 152
usa
2 posted 2007-01-06 12:36 PM


loss is so poignant...I could tell,but not as well as you have...Good write!!

Click

Kira Aso
Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 351
Closer to Hell...
3 posted 2007-01-06 09:31 AM



Thankyou much hunnie! (I've totally missed you!) I hope to see some more poems from you since you are my fav poet! Thanks much for commenting!!!

Hugs and Hershey bars!!
Luv Kira

Kira Aso
Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 351
Closer to Hell...
4 posted 2007-01-06 09:37 AM



Thanx click1 for reading my poem! I love getting comments even if I get just one or two! (I'm not a pro when it comes to writing poems so I like to know what people think and how I can improve for future poems)

Lots of Hugs and Hershey bars!!
Luv Kira

hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
5 posted 2007-01-06 11:54 PM


haha i wish I could post poems haha I have the worst case of writers block in the world haha ok so i  exaggerated a bit wow how do you spell that word anyway...
hunnie

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

Kira Aso
Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 351
Closer to Hell...
6 posted 2007-01-08 09:43 AM



I'm there with you hunnie! I've caught the dreaded writers block and can't for the life of me come up with anything at all...

Except for this I have no insperation whatsoever!!!
(How do you get rid of wb? Is there a pill you can take for it or something?)
And yes you spelled "exaggerated" corectley.

Luv ya lots hunnie!!!!!!
Kira

hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
7 posted 2007-01-09 10:17 PM


haha if there was a pill for wb I really would need it hmm if there was do you think if you took the whole bottle you could die of OD? hehe...
luvs ya,
hunnie


~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

arthur
Senior Member
since 2001-08-14
Posts 678
england
8 posted 2007-02-28 09:17 AM


bereavement-it never gets any easier-you just get better at dealing with it
arthur

Kira Aso
Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 351
Closer to Hell...
9 posted 2007-03-22 05:08 PM



True, true.

~Should the truth be so buried
in the endless cemetery of broken dreams?~

L. Ottanio
Junior Member
since 2007-04-17
Posts 27
Connecticut, USA
10 posted 2007-04-19 12:32 PM


hi kira - i'm new here... the name is lynn.  

I read your poem and thought I might be able to help you with it... first off - my pet peeve is typos - so i most definately will point them out - and explain how to fix them...

well lets start there..

Every step I hear coming down the hall
Every time I hear that I have a phone call
I can’t help but to think for a moment that it might be you
Only to have the (illusion) allusion shattered after a precious few
Tell me dearest, why it is I still look for (s/b your) you’re face?
Knowing full well that you’ve already finished this earthly race
I tell myself that you’re no longer here
But my heart keeps telling me that you’re somewhere near
For you seem so close for being so out of reach
So close for being past the barrier that death can only breach
I feel you haunting me in the darkest of nights
I feel you haunting me in the crisp morning bright (light)
A memory is perhaps now all you are
But I stand here now with all (s/b your) you’re scars
One day I know I’ll meet you again
But you’ll continue haunting me until then
(last 2 sentences could read: (just my opinion)

One day I know we'll meet again
but need you haunt my life till then

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