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Speaking
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Speaking |
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lace_of_light Junior Member
since 2006-08-02
Posts 44 |
Can you feel it crawling inside your head? That terrible thing causing fear and dread? A simple dark thought that stabs your soul, That plain black word that swallows you whole, You see it out of the corner of your eye, Can't you hear it as it slowly passes by? Oh, heaven help you to recover your sanity, God's grace to you, who faces all humanity, This ungodly creature shrouded in a veil of night, It only comes out when you are devoid of light, Darkness encases your mind's other side, This one dark thought starts you on one dirty ride, Hatred overpowers the love you once knew, Everything you cherish suddenly turns against you, What is it for, this tight knot in your gut? You've done nothing and kept all doors shut, Why worry so much for something unknown? As if you don't even feel safe in your own home, Trust is a mighty thing to obtain, But even with it you feel slightly to blame, Though the innocent have nothing to fear, They're sheer horror is certainly clear, And what of God's people who die unfair? Are they not innocent through water and prayer? So, there is no such truth in innocent people, For they must worry regardless of crime or steeple, Guilty or not, the night controls you for now, So live with this sickness but do not allow, The worry to consume |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hmmm... Well, I liked how this poem started out with one "thought" that consumes the mind in darkness. I think you captured some despair in that idea. I disliked, no offence, the ending part, to me, this part "So live with this sickness but do not allow, The worry to consume" just leaves a lot to be desired. I found the first half of the poem to be exceptional in the imagery but I feel the last half needs something more. Just my thoughts though. Thanks for sharing this piece and letting me comment  "I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino @-->--- |
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