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Dark Poetry #4
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Change of Light
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Change of Light |
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JenniferMaxwell
since 2006-09-14
Posts 2423 |
In the dwindling days of August as the sea grass turns to saffron and sand pails long forgotten roll across the deserted beach, there comes a change in light too subtle for the eye that only the heart can measure. In the quiet hush of twilight, the endless days of summer surrender to the tide, gather from the rushing dusk the somber hues of autumn that dull the blaze of summer and cast shadows on the sea. On the far horizon, the last pale rays of sunset become the rising moon and in between the stars there is a terrible darkness. [This message has been edited by JenniferMaxwell (09-19-2006 12:20 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2006 JenniferMaxwell - All Rights Reserved | |||
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moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
Jennifer You have some really nice images here especially the close detail of the pails and the grasses, but most of all you have managed to create and maintain a consistent and convincing tone throughout which compliments the scene. Beautiful sonics help to do this. As a little portrait of a moment this is totally convincing and goes to show how simple language and images can make a lovely poem. Thanks. M |
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JenniferMaxwell
since 2006-09-14
Posts 2423 |
Phew, so glad I revised this before you read it! In the original I actually used the word "lavender" (right up there with "shard") and included something about an air conditioner. Good grief, what was I thinking! First thought, first draft, not always the best. Thanks for reading and commenting. |
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moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
Hee hee - actually I LIKE "lavender". And I don't believe for a minute that you're a "beginner" poet! M |
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JenniferMaxwell
since 2006-09-14
Posts 2423 |
Lavender does have it's place, but it strikes me as one of those words you see used far too often just for affect. |
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moonbeam
since 2005-12-24
Posts 2356 |
"effect" even! ~grins~ M |
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JenniferMaxwell
since 2006-09-14
Posts 2423 |
Oops! ~blushes~ |
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CrEaTuRe Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 260Kuala Lumpur,Malaysia |
Love the flow of words and look forward to reading more of your work  CrEaTuRe aka Jazvina Lahre Love CoMeS To ThOsE WhO Still HoPe AlThOuGh They've BeeN DiSaPpOiNteD,To ThOsE WhO StiLL BeLiEvE AlThOuGh ThEy'Ve BeeN BeTraYeD,LoVe KeEpS ThEm GoInG |
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Kira Aso Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 351Closer to Hell... |
Really great work jennifer! You always come up with something even better than the last! Hugs and Hershey bars!!! ~Kira |
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