navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #4 » Martyr
Dark Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic Martyr Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
JenniferMaxwell
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-09-14
Posts 2423


0 posted 2006-09-17 12:14 PM



Against the blanched landscape
of sorrow and shadow,
the season of ash
darkens his image,
carves on his is features
the blank face of death.

Carrying a scarlet chasuble,
he waits by the rim
of the pool of remembering
where lichen and moss
green stagnant water
that flows from the fountain of loss.

Above in the emptiness,
a flutter of wings,
swallows and doves
transform the sky
into a nimbus
that darkens the sun.

As he stoops to drink
from the pool of reflections,
time seals the moment
as he becomes his own monument
in the still garden
of marble and stone



© Copyright 2006 JenniferMaxwell - All Rights Reserved
lanaia74
Member
since 2006-08-25
Posts 67

1 posted 2006-09-18 08:10 AM


Superb! Bravo! Applauds!
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
2 posted 2006-09-19 12:29 PM


Hi Jennifer,

Interesting piece! I like how it leaves some of it up to the imagination of the reader instead of telling us exactly. Not only does it bug you that you don't know what's happened, you also read the poem over and over, hoping for some clue to the story... If you know what I mean?

I'm not sure about the title though, martyr, to me, is something more of ... Well, more like Justin Martyr dying for his faith, I could be missing something or just wrong in this assumption... I'll have to read it again...

Thanks for sharing for this wonderful piece!

"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."
–Socrates
                     @-->---

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
3 posted 2006-09-19 12:33 PM


No offence but in reading this again this line, "carves on his is features " doesn't make much sense to me. It's the first stanza 5th line I believe?

"I pray thee, O God, that I
may be beautiful within."
–Socrates
                     @-->---

JenniferMaxwell
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-09-14
Posts 2423

4 posted 2006-09-19 08:20 AM


Stargal, thanks so much for reading and commenting. This was a quick portrait, admittedly rather veiled, of a close family member who suffers from severe and chronic depression and refuses any sort of treatment for it. Consequently, he lives as sort of a "martyr" to the illness and all the misery it brings him.

About the "carves on his is features" line -the "season of ash" means Lent (as in Ash Wednesday), the time of year when this person frequently suffers almost psychotic episodes of severe depression that leave him hollow-cheeked and skeleton-like.

SouthernJustice
Member
since 2007-12-15
Posts 159

5 posted 2007-12-31 03:05 PM


Excellene Personified, NOW, Im somewhere I dont have to feel like a machine. ANT ITS GREAT! Hey, BTW I got a new bicycle, Dont have to walk so much any more. My back and my kidneys and my legs (and my knees) are teeling on me quite a bit though, LOL. Wonderful to see a dear freind at PIP. "SJ" (LF)
green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx
6 posted 2008-01-01 10:20 AM


Dying for a purpose is uncomfortle.  Sometimes it makes one queezy.  

-GIS

Keep your pants on, Jesus loves you

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #4 » Martyr

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary