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steel eyes

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JenniferMaxwell
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0 posted 09-15-2006 12:12 AM       View Profile for JenniferMaxwell   Email JenniferMaxwell   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for JenniferMaxwell

lolita rides a golden horse
round carousels of veins and rats
beneath the saffron arcs of night
the sulfuric stench
drifts through corridors and white
rooms where tourin images lie
black madonnas on magdalene linen

her raven hair wing of a blackbird
her eyes kohled and steel that draw down night
in carnival-like swirls of color and light
sinuous rhythms that chase the dawn
through bruised slashes of lavender
till cold white wrists
bleed oxygen

[This message has been edited by JenniferMaxwell (09-16-2006 11:12 AM).]

© Copyright 2006 JenniferMaxwell - All Rights Reserved
lanaia74
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1 posted 09-15-2006 09:48 AM       View Profile for lanaia74   Email lanaia74   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for lanaia74

This was brilliant! Absolutely AWESOME!
JenniferMaxwell
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2 posted 09-16-2006 10:51 AM       View Profile for JenniferMaxwell   Email JenniferMaxwell   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JenniferMaxwell

Thanks so much for the kind comment. It's  a rough draft that needs a lot of work.
moonbeam
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3 posted 09-19-2006 05:35 PM       View Profile for moonbeam   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for moonbeam

Humm Jennifer, if you are a "beginner" poet you shouldn't only be here. I hope, and assume you are in other places too. I will try to mail you if that's ok.

Moonbeam

JenniferMaxwell
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4 posted 09-19-2006 06:14 PM       View Profile for JenniferMaxwell   Email JenniferMaxwell   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JenniferMaxwell

Certainly it's ok to email me, Moonbeam. Yep, pretty much a beginner, can't tell a sonnet from sestina.

You mentioned Ted Hughes so I looked up some of his work. I read his Birthday Letters a while back when I was sort of studying Plath on my own, and thought them a little cold at the time. Must have been my mood, but today I read his Thought Fox and it's absolutely brilliant. I will definitely be reading more of his work! Not sure how much of it I'll understand, but his imagery is spellbinding.

moonbeam
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5 posted 09-20-2006 05:52 AM       View Profile for moonbeam   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for moonbeam

Humm, you ARE taking notice of my posts arenít you!  I shall have to be careful what I say.  Heh.

Ted Hughes is one of my favourite poets, but curiously also one of my least favourite.  At his best he is IMO almost unbeatable (but them Iím biassed towards poems using natural imagery and metaphor), at his worst as with the Crow poems and Birthday Letters and other even weirder stuff (probably Plathís influence), he is simply awful.

Thought Fox is possibly one of his most accessible and well known.  The Jaguar is also one of my favourite:
http://members.tripod.com/poetry_pearls/ePoets/Hughes.htm

as is The Horses
http://www.ouce.ox.ac.uk/~rwashing/research/twos/poems.html

but all his poems that seek to make a comment upon our human existence by using the animal and natural world in sometimes quite complex metaphors are pretty wonderful.  Heís certainly had a big influence on my writing.

Another poet you might quite like, judging by what you write, is a poet from Fife, Scotland - John Burnside.

Iím going to risk posting one of his here because they are a bit difficult to find on the web.

Agoraphobia

John Burnside

My whole world is all you refuse:
a black light, angelic and cold
on the path to the orchard,
fox-runs and clouded lanes and the glitter of webbing,
little owls snagged in the fruit nets
out by the wire
and the sense of another life, that persists
when I go out into the yard
and the cattle stand round me, obstinate and dumb.
All afternoon, I've worked at the edge of your vision,
mending fences, marking out our bounds.
Now it is dusk, I turn back to the house
and catch you, like the pale Eurydice
of children's classics, venturing a glance
at nothing, at this washed infinity
of birchwoods and sky and the wet streets leading away
to all you forget: the otherworld, lucid and cold
with floodlights and passing trains and the noise of traffic
and nothing like the map you sometimes
study for its empty bridlepaths,
its hill-tracks and lanes and roads winding down to a coast
of narrow harbors, lit against the sea.

~~~~~

I hope you liked that.

I did e-mail you but I had to use my wifeís webmail as I hadnít set up an addy.  Iíve given it to several people at PIP now and sheís taking a dim view of her inbox being filled up.  So I set up my own webmail - Iíll try sending you another mail right now from it.

M
JenniferMaxwell
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6 posted 09-20-2006 07:21 AM       View Profile for JenniferMaxwell   Email JenniferMaxwell   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JenniferMaxwell


Thanks, I did like the Burnside very much (since his work isnít available online, Iím going to request some of his books through inter library loan). I also liked the Hughes poems. Is there one particular Hughes collection youíd recommend?  

Thereís a real Plath cult over here but I really donít care very much for her work. Thereís like a streak of bitterness, self-centeredness, or something in her poems that turns me off. And, like her letters to her mother, there seems something artificial or pretentious about them. I read Freida Hughes ďWaxworksĒ and enjoyed those poems more than any by Plath that Iíve read. But that's just me I'm sure.

I donít know what happened but I didnít get your email. Iíll check to make sure I allowed email from PIP.

moonbeam
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7 posted 09-20-2006 07:34 AM       View Profile for moonbeam   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for moonbeam

Is there one particular Hughes collection youíd recommend?  

Yes.

New Selected Poems 1957-1994
by Ted Hughes

If you check you mail settings I'll try again later.

M
moonbeam
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8 posted 09-20-2006 07:35 AM       View Profile for moonbeam   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for moonbeam

Oh and Burnside.

Try and get "The Asylum Dance"
Falling rain
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9 posted 02-21-2010 01:52 PM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain

Sad thing is that I've never have read your work. (Isn't that pathedic how you leave lovely comments and I haven't gotten the decency to reply. lol)

But this poem is absolutely beautiful. I love it.   
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