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Tempest
Member

since 2006-04-28

Posts 247
dont eat paint chips!!!!

0 posted 2006-09-05 08:38 PM

The angel flys on wings of dark
Bestowe upon her
Your dead heart
Those forsaken tears were cried
And i died that fatefull night
With you at my side
You were laughing all the while
I called out your name
Just hoping for some help
That never came
I cant break free
When trapted by society
I die at the thought of you
And all the things you put me through
It makes me sick to see you standing there
Like everythings fine
Like everythings okay
While you carry on with your fake laughs
I drift farther away
Its just not right
Whatever you can tell your self
To help you sleep at night
Im fine

lanaia74
Member

since 2006-08-25

Posts 67

1 posted 2006-09-06 07:03 AM

AWESOME!

nick_lyss
Member

since 2006-08-21

Posts 88

2 posted 2006-10-07 09:43 AM

i like this poem. its amazing

cherrys_rule
Member

since 2006-03-18

Posts 442

3 posted 2006-10-09 06:02 PM

Man I love your work this was a(n) excellent poem. I hope to see more from you in the future, Thanx for sharing with us.

TwiztidKarma
Junior Member

since 2006-09-22

Posts 43
Florida

4 posted 2006-10-09 07:58 PM

Word

trUstNooNe
Member

since 2006-05-21

Posts 91

5 posted 2006-10-15 12:16 PM

LOVE IT!

Khatharsis
Junior Member

since 2006-05-21

Posts 42

6 posted 2006-10-15 12:30 PM

wow... this was amazingly awesome, bro! GREAT PEICE!!!! U have gained another fan lol.

P.S. Could ya peep my "Your Hand in Mind", whenever ya get the chance. Would mean alot. Thanks a mill an thanks for sharing.

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

7 posted 2006-10-15 10:59 PM

yes, a beautiful piece. I enjoyed this poem a lot...
hunnie*

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

8 posted 2006-10-15 11:28 PM

This was good, my favorite part was -
"Its just not right
Whatever you can tell your self
To help you sleep at night"

Well said.

"My soul is adrift in oceans of madness
Repairing the rift that you have created"~ Disturbed

"I shut my eyes and hold my cries to myself"~ Taproot

poison
New Member

since 2006-10-13

Posts 2
malaysia

9 posted 2006-10-16 02:42 AM

the opening caught my attention. but towards the end it got a bit too cliche. everythings? trapt? is it just me,but i don't get them. =X i hope you do not get too offended =), these are just my humble opinions.

Tempest
Member

since 2006-04-28

Posts 247
dont eat paint chips!!!!

10 posted 2006-10-20 04:59 PM

define cliche

shatteredsilver
Member

since 2005-03-31

Posts 63
middle of nowhere

11 posted 2006-10-21 10:04 PM

I die at the thought of you

This struck me for some reason. Well done.

The only thing I didn't like was the second adn third lines - I would have combined them to match the rest of the poem.

But that's me

patience_iago
Member

since 2006-08-30

Posts 54

12 posted 2006-10-22 03:05 PM

Love it.

"There are some days where i believe i might die of an overdose of satisfaction"
-Dali

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